2.03.2010

Love does not envy...


"Resentment kills a fool, and envy slays the simple."
-Job 5:2

"A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones."
-Proverbs 14:30

Love...It does not envy...

Many years ago I recall being very envious of my best friend Amelia. I was young, naive and ever so jealous that she was more popular in kindergarten and first grade than I was. Amelia was my "bestest" friend, even though I was envious of her at times.

I was the quiet shy one. Amelia was the outgoing talkative one. She said blue. I said pink. She said dog. I said cat. She said Dolly Parton. I said Reba McEntire. Amelia had blue eyes and blonde hair, and I had brown eyes seen through aqua framed glasses, and wavy mousy brown hair. The boys at school seemed to forget that they were talking to me or playing with me when she was in the room. Amelia was (and still is) very pretty, smart, funny and outgoing. She had a lot more close friendships at FCS (the private school I attended) than I did.

I sat in the old tires blowing spit bubbles with Katie K. during recess....and Amelia played 'Nala' in the Lion King game the kids on the playground played during recess. I remember wanting to be 'Nala' in the Lion King game so bad! I remembered not liking my friend so much that day...I remember my love for her being shadowed by my envy to "be her."

After recess that day I saw my momma pull up to the pick up spot for parents at the school. I got in the car, climbed into my car seat (I was a skinny little twig of a girl....had to sit in a car seat for a long time.....) and began to cry. If you asked my momma about it today, she would tell you "Yes, you were so sad and broken that day Sarah. As a mother it broke my heart to see you so upset....even if it was over not being able to play the 'Lion King' with the other kids."

I had every right to be upset and to feel excluded...but I also knew as a little girl that I had to get over my feeling envious towards my best friend, Amelia. Because I was so envious of her it made me question my love for her...our friendship. I began to see that I was good as 'just me.' Amelia had always loved me and taken care of me....she was always there when I was 'excluded'...she was there to say "Hey we need to include Sarah too!"

Amelia and I grew closer and closer over time and I began to forget about how envious I was of her. My love for her, and our friendship continued to grow. I learned to be content in who I was....it was okay to be different...to look different than she did. People liked me better when I was just me....and I liked myself better when I wasn't envious anymore!

Amelia and I are still friends to this day....our paths major differently in life now....and our lives have drifted apart somewhat, but I will always know her as my dearest first best friend, whom I will always love.

To My First Best Friend: Amelia
With Love,
-Daughter of the King

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