Songs In My Head...

How can I keep from singing and getting songs stuck in my head? I can't. There are quite a few songs that I have been hitting that replay button on over and over again the last few weeks. I thought since I have all of these songs stuck in my head, perhaps you would like to hear (read) what I've been listening to over and over again too. Maybe you'll totally dig my current playlist, and maybe it's not for you and you'll say 'no thank not my kinda music...but you keep on listening girl!' I'll share my current song 'obsessions' with you, but first I've gotta tell you in mindless drivel why music is my thing...

I am so thankful for music in my life. I love teaching piano...and playing the piano...and this d.o.t.k. loves to sing....anywhere and everywhere....anything and everything! Music is such a release for me. I have helped write a few lines of lyrics on a couple of old friends' songs. I so wish I could write the music to go along with the lyrics that from time to time I come up with in my head...or even the ones I have written out on notebook paper.

 My family has always said that I should try out for American Idol....I think that they are CRAZY!!! I would never make it on American Idol. For one, I do not like to pigeon hold myself into one specific genre....I love too many different genres and could never be a 'certain type of artist.' For two, I get sick a lot before I sing solos in front of people.....I was getting a lot better right before I quit the praise band I was a part of (I quit for spiritual as well as leadership reasons.) For three, this girl loves to be on the road, but I wouldn't wanna live on the road! My Dad always jokes and says "well, I am a truck I could already drive your tour bus on the road because I've got the licence...let's go!' Cute idea....sweet thoughts...but for me music will just be a personal release. If God does call me to be in a band again like I was last year, then by all means I will go where He leads and I will sing/play keys if that is His will for me to be in a band again. 

My Top 20 Fave Playlist (currently and in no particular order):
(1) 'Mother' by: Anberlin
(2) 'True Faith' by: Anberlin
(3) 'Perfect Tourniquet' by: Anberlin
(4) 'Knew It All' by: Needtobreathe
(5) 'Prisoner' by: Needtobreathe
(6) 'Promised Land' by: Fee
(7) 'Automatic' by: Tokio Hotel
(8) 'Darkside of the Sun' by: Tokio Hotel
(9) 'Strange' by: Tokio Hotel & Kerli
(10) 'Where's My Angel' by: Metro Station
(11) 'Meet Me On The Equinox' by: Death Cab For Cutie
(12) 'I Can't Help It' by: Nevertheless
(13) 'Stay (in my arms)' by: Nevertheless
(14) 'Monster' by: Skillet
(15) 'Supermassive Black Hole' by: Muse
(16) 'Fire It Up' by: Thousand Foot Krutch
(17) 'E for Extinction' by: Thousand Foot Krutch
(18) 'Smack Down' by: Thousand Foot Krutch
(19) 'Don't Leave Just Yet' by: Needtobreathe
(20) 'The Haunting' by: Anberlin *Jared you know why...*

Yes, I *heart* many multiple genres of music...the only genre's that I'm not particularly fond of are Country, Rap, and Heavy Metal. This chick loves Hard Rock, Pop, Movie Soundtracks, Video Game Music, some occasional techno music and anything acoustic.

My 5 Fave Top Bands As of Now Are:



-Thousand Foot Krutch-

-Tokio Hotel-

Happy Listening...
-Daughter of the King


You know sometimes I wake up in a fearful state of what the day may bring...of all the choices and decisions I must try to strive after making during the day while trying to become and better myself as an 'adult.' I woke up this morning 'kinda' in that state. Then I rolled over, thrust my un-dead like body out of the bed, feet on the floor, stood up and went and turned my cell phone on. After that cell phone was turned on the text messages came rolling on in. I'm glad I didn't sleep any later....I'm not a BIG morning person so waking up at the time I did was not too late but not exactly early either. I was gonna wake up 'earlier' today so I could get ready for the day, and start making more phone calls about possible job leads. Well, my day has been brightened by a few text's and I'm ready for the random schedule change!

I usually teach piano lessons (which I love doing more than anything else in the world!) on Thursday mornings, but not so this week, today I am teaching lessons at 2pm. So SuRpRiSe! I need to go clean my home and prepare for my students' piano lessons. I will have to purpose myself to make those calls about jobs tmrw.....which I am saying right here right now that I MEAN TO DO IT! Hopefully I will stick true to it this time. Being an adult  sometimes is really hard, or better yet trying to be an adult is hard.

I am actually looking forward to the rest of this week now, even if I am gonna have to buck up and start making some 'job lead' calls. Thursday- more likely than not is the only other day I can make calls....and then it's girl's night with the wonderfully fantabulous Buckner gals! Friday- I am going to be going shopping in Greenville at Plato's Closet, which I have never been to and I'm very excited about going and checking it all out. I'm also really excited about getting out there and shopping with the girl's I'm going with. I'm ready to get to know them better......I just know that this Friday hanging with Alaythea, DeeAnna and Charity is gonna be great! I don't go out often with chica's but this week I am! Saturday - I am headed to Moss Lake for the day to spend it with a dear friend of ours, Dianna who is a sassy, fiery, random-singing, dog loving, boat driving, free spirit, she's a wonderful Godly woman, and a past Navy gal! I am sure the day will be filled with laughter, eating at Mi Pueblitos...yumo.....maybe a boat ride around the lake. The day is sure to be full of SuRpRiSeS! Sunday- is Easter, and for the first time in a few years I have no church to go to on Easter Sunday. *sad face*

I hope you all have a really super-blessed-sunshiny-random-filled day that has been set forth just for you by our wonderful matchless King!
-Daughter of the King

~A New Stephenie Meyer Novel~

Yeah, another Stephenie Meyer novel! The eclipse novella, "the short second life of bree tanner," will be available for a FREE online download on between June 7th-July 5th. Visit Stephenie Meyer's website HERE for more details.

Desire...Check. Dream...Check. Do...?

There are so many things that I desire to do, and dream about doing. So why don't I go after my dreams? Why don't I just go and do it? Why when I try to pursue my desires does it always seem like I get shut down before I even get started....or even worse why do I lose heart so easily after trying or failing at something and then I give up all together?

I am not just talking about the job that I need to start looking for and pursuing right now. I know I have got to push myself in that particular area...I do, really. I want to move out of my parents home within the next few years or so, and I want to be able to get married too. The "JOB HUNT" is a big part of all of these unsure feelings. Like the feelings that I won't be able to accomplish my dreams or desires, and me being so freaked out to make any move towards it all, but I am also worried that if I don't buck up and just do things I won't grow and reach my God given potential too! 

I desire to bloom where I have been planted....moving here was....not my choice. I would have never picked this particular place in which I live right now to call Home. I know that it was for a reason though. I would have never pushed myself to grow in my faith so strongly, to grow in friendships that I gained and then lost through hurtful crushing gossip, lying and backstabbing. I've learned a lot through moving here, and being turned on by quite a few Christian people. I wouldn't have risen to the occasion and pushed myself farther and harder than I ever thought possible last year if it were not for moving here. I am proud of myself that I actually opened my mouth and began to speak aloud, and that I found a love for teaching and leading in the ministry. I never would've met Jared, the man whom I dearly love with all my heart, if I had not moved here! So there are many reasons why God must've moved me here, and why HE still has me planted here for right now. 

I won't list all of my dreams and desires, but I will share a few of them with you all:
(1) Get a job...working with children preferably. 
(2) Save as much money  as I can...i.e. save every penny I make!
(3) Find a new church to get plugged into.
(4)Work in the youth/young women ministry again.
(5) Get a place all my own.
(6) Get married

There are a few silly pipe dreams too....but for now they will remain unknown. I guess right now my fears and the frustration with myself is getting the better of me. I know what I want, and I know what I have to do to accomplish my dreams and desires. What I need right now is to be able to rise above the fears and self doubt to reach those dreams and desires. I have to face things head on....and I'm scared about it. 

I know I'm also pretty hard on myself at times, but should I perhaps be even harder??? I did make a phone call today to someone who owns a preschool...seeing if she has any job positions available.  Now to me that one phone call seems almost pathetic, but then I think 'Well, that's one more call than you made last week about a job Sarah!' I think maybe the more and more I step out and take a step, perhaps it will be easier to take a step out next time and then I will be able to run towards what I desire and dream about. Is this making any sense? I guess what I'm trying to say is I have dreams, desires and what I need to do is to step up and get a bit more gutsy and run the race set before me. I WANT TO RUN! I SO DESPERATELY WANT TO REACH MY GOD GIVEN POTENTIAL!!! I'm kinda ill at myself though at this just feels like I'm stuck in all areas and I don't know which way to turn to and what I need to do next. I'm frustrated in that all I have currently done is taken one step forward. I'm scared I'll revert back to what I usually do...I don't want to take three steps back anymore when things don't go as planned. I want to know that I can do it. I want to accomplish those dreams and desires. How do I keep the faith in myself alive though??? I think I need prayer....and I need a God intervention! 

Questioning every move I make,
-Daughter of the King

My Heart Lies Behind...

I am back home. Part of me is glad to be back home, and another part of me is very torn with being back home...part of my heart was left behind. I love going to visit my boyfriend and his family when I can. I am missing Jared immensely right now, and I still wish I was right there beside him, and that I would never have to leave his side. 

P.S.- I have so much on my mind and heart right now. I can't wait to write about it all, but it might take a while for me to sort it all out in the cloudy little mind of mine....soon enough though, soon enough.

It's A Quintet-Month-Aversary

Jared & Sarah - together for 5 months as of today.

I love you Jared Fisher.....and I can't wait to spend the next 5 months with you! 
With Love, Your Neo-Victorian
Goofiness......nuff said.
My other half.......can be serious....sometimes.

I took a pic of J's and whited the pic and left his eye colored in.....J has blue eyes, but they looked brown/orange-ish from the angle I took it.......looks like Edward Cullen's eyes! *drool* *kidding*

'Tis the Hawk that was destined to catch the Fish.' -J.T.F.
I am so blessed to be loved by a wonderful young man,
-Daughter of the King

Spirited Away

I watched Spirited Away yesterday evening with my boyfriend. I laughed and I smiled. However, Spirited Away was not as good however for me as Hayao Miyazaki's other film Howl's Moving Castle was in my humble opinion. I'm not saying don't watch the movie, or that I disliked it......for me it lacked the romance that Howl's Moving Castle held for that film my heart was held in the balance throughout the movie. I did happen to fall head over heels for the little girl though; she was of a curious nature and  infused with timidity......named Chihiro.

The film was wildly colorful, and I simply love the artistry of Miyazaki's anime films...they are truly art seen on screen. The characters were vivid, brave, explorative, mysterious, and witty. I loved the vast area between characters. I laughed hardest when a very chubby purple rat was picked up by a fuzzy bug like creature and the rat made this funny squeak. Jared and I dubbed them 'Chubbles (the rat) and  Buzzy (the fuzzy insect thing.)' I do not know why I, or Jared found the little rat and fuzzy's flying and running around antics to be so full of hilarity, but we did. Also another very funny fact about the main character in the movie.....Chihiro is very klutzy and trips down a flight of stairs at one point...and let's just say I have done this a "few" times! ;)

Chihiro starts out in the story by moving to a new home........although her and her parents never make it to their new home. The family takes a detour in their car......they come upon an entrance to a tunnel...then they go through a wall and when they come out on the other side the family of three are all "spirited away." Chihiro's dad and mom are so hungry that when they arrive on the other side of the grand tunnel entrance....they traipse across what looks like a carnival booth, and the parents being oh so hungry begin to gorge themselves.....then the shadow starts to fall and dark ghost like creatures start to emerge. Chihiro's parents are turned into swine......and the rest is a magical journey there on out. Chihiro must take on the name of Sen, once she gives her name over to the witch that resides there, named Ubaba.  In the new spirit world where she is surrounded by a few beasties and such.....she finds friends and allies among the darkness of the otherworld and she begins the fight to restore her parents to their human forms. In the end Chihiro helps out the evil witch's sister by getting back the magic golden seal that was stolen by Haku the spirit of a dragon/boy/water spirit named Haku. To find out how Chihiro/Sen gets out of the spirit world, and if she finds her parents again and they turn back into their human form, you must watch the movie to find out the answer to these questions.

Now I know that this movie deals with spiritism, but if you take it with a large grain of salt, there is light to be found, and beauty to be seen behind this visually stunning and epically scenically told story of Japanese lore, culture and verse. This may not be everyone's cup of tea, or you may not like the medium in which the film  was written and stylized, and perhaps you may not want to spend all of that time sifting and ciphering through what are the good versus bad morals in this film. If you do watch it though remember this.....don't throw the baby out with the bath water! lol

That's all for now..........
-Daughter of the King


Headed out. On the road I am going. Not a gypsy am I, nor a vagrant searching, but a young woman traveling to see her love.
See you soon love,
-Daughter of the King

Girl's Night Tonight!

I am so excited about tonight. We usually have girl's night here in our home on Thursday evenings, which consist of cooking and eating dinner together, chatting and laughing until we cannot breathe any longer, and then us girl's watch Survivor. Survivor was moved to Wednesday night this week, so we also moved girl's night to accommodate our favorite show that we girl's watch together weekly. I am kind of a competitive person, so for me, since I do not watch sports, Survivor is like my NFL, NBA, and NASCAR. I love watching the survivor contender's compete in the many different reward and immunity challenges. Survivor is also very strategic as well as physically challenging......that's why I love watching it.

On our girls night menu tonight we will be having: Spinach Quiche. We are going to make two of with bacon and one without, for my sister and I. For dessert us girl's will be having chocolate covered personal favorite fruit....and you cannot go wrong with adding chocolate to them...especially on those special days!

There is just something about having a girl's night...and only cannot be expressed in words....we as women need time together....just an estrogen fest full of chatting, laughing, snacking, and just getting to hear about each other's week; pouring into one another's life. Thank God for girl's night! I cannot wait to spend time with my dear girl friend Hannah tonight.

(No idea what was up with my hair....I showed up to Hannah's b-day party, and by coincidence entirely we were both wearing our grey shirts and our pink scarves....great friends dress alike! lol)

I was not feeling good all day yesterday, and today I am a bit better, still have a slight headache though...and again I woke up with a slight fever. All that said....I AM READY FOR THE GIRLS!!! I am ready for my nasty headaches and the occasional fever to take a hike. I am ready to see my boyfriend this weekend! So many things to prepare for....I had better get a move on...

I hope all of you ladies and gentlemen have a wonderful day today,
-Daughter of the King

Movies To Queue...

I have just, as of today, updated our queue on Netflix. I am not feeling very well today, and so I thought what better use of my time than to read devotions online, blog, and search for period films to fill my movie queue with!? We have quite a few films coming our way that I am very excited about seeing. I like a wide variety of different film genres....our Netflix queue is a stark reflection of that fact. I love watching anime films (i.e. Howl's Moving Castle, Final Fantasy: Advent Children), Sci-Fi films (i.e. Avatar, Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightning Thief),  and old Godzilla films (i.e. Godzilla 2000, Godzilla: Final Wars) with my boyfriend. I absolutely love watching period piece films with my dear momma, although this you already know if you have read my blog for any length of time! For me watching movies with those whom I cherish dearly is a beloved pastime of mine. Hours on end shopping or going to a bunch of parties...not my thing...but watching movies while snuggled up in a quilt while sitting next to a loved one, while trying to finish my scarf that I started knitting ages ago...that is more like me...The Neo-Victorian that I am. 

At the suggestion of a Facebook friend, and two fellow blogger's pages that I read frequently (Standing In The Sunlight & Lillian Mynatte) I have found a few more films to add to my list of 'I must watch asap films.' I have added 'Lark Rise to Candleford: Season 1 & 2' which I heard about from Miss Christi on FB (sad thing there is a long wait on the first season), and I added 'Little Dorrit' which I have read about on a few blog friends' pages (Caroline & Lillian...thanks for the movie idea! I cannot wait to see Little Dorrit!!!) 

I am anxiously awaiting watching 'Spirited Away' an Anime film in the same artistic styling as 'Howl's Moving Castle' which I loved should be in tomorrow. (I can't wait to watch it with you this weekend Jared!) It seems as though my blog entries have been floating from wild whim blown whims as of late. I write about anything and everything randomly....well, I am the Queen of Random! lol Who knows what I shall write about next.....

Happy Movie Watching,
-Daughter of the King

PS- Charles Dickens was an excellent writer. Although I found Mr. Dickens to be an excellent author, I did not however like the ending of 'Great Expectations.' Momma and I were like 'WHAT?' when the end of the credits rolled. I guess it just couldn't live up to it's great expectations now could it? It still was a great story....I guess I just wanted to see and know more.

My Anthem

'Anyway' -Martina McBride
You can spend your whole life building
Something from nothin'
One storm can come and blow it all away
Build it anyway

You can chase a dream
That seems so out of reach
And you know it might not ever come your way
Dream it anyway

God is great
But sometimes life ain't good
And when I pray
It doesn't always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway
I do it anyway

This world's gone crazy
It's hard to believe
That tomorrow will be better than today
Believe it anyway

You can love someone with all your heart
For all the right reasons
In a moment they can choose to walk away
Love 'em anyway

God is great
But sometimes life ain't good
And when I pray
It doesn't always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway
Yea - I do it anyway

You can pour your soul out singing
A song you believe in
That tomorrow they'll forget you ever sang
Sing it anyway
Yea, sing it anyway
Yeah, yeah!

I sing
I dream
I love anyway

This Neo-Victorian likes.....birthday hints ;)

What does this Neo-Victorian love? Hmmm.....well there are a lot of things I love, including my family, friends and Jared Fisher! I am not talking about the people I love though....I am talking about a few of my favorite things. I love to read...I would have a library as my room if I could. I love love love to watch movies and tv series on dvd.  I love having gas money to go see the guy I love. I love listening to music all day long...anything from Needtobreathe, to Muse and Tokio Hotel. I would LOVE to own all of MUSE's cds...for now I listen to them just online. I do not love clothes shopping, but all my shirts are starting to get small holes in them, which means I NEED to go clothes shopping this Spring. Maybe Old Navy, American Eagle, or Aeropostale (all these stores have gift!) will have what I'm looking for. I LOVE Vibram and Keen shoes and Fossil bags!  I am hoping that I will get some birthday money this year so that I can get the needed things first, like clothes and using my b-day money for gas to go see Jared, any extra money after taking care of the needs and bills are fair game. I am ready for some Spring Shopping!
Click here for a link to the KEEN shoes

Click here for a link to the Fossil Bag

Click here for a link to the Twilight Graphic novel

Click here for a link to The Elizabeth Gaskell Collection
PS- Family members who find this list helpful, and want to get an item off of this list for my b-day, to avoid confusion, might want to confer with one another so as there won't be any confusion or duplications made. :) 

The Neo-Victorian's Movie List

I absolutely love period piece films (anything based on the time period between the 1600's and the 1800's is a pure joy for me to delight myself in watching.) Lately Momma and I have been ordering as many period piece, or BBC films, as we possibly can find from Netflix. Netflix is great by the way if you are looking for old classic films, as well as my much beloved period piece films. I recently just finished watching Cranford with Momma....such a wonderful feel-good series I must say so myself! The funniest part about Cranford was that it began with a cat chowing down on a very old and precious heirloom lace.....and then let's just say that the women got smart and got their lace back from the cat...after  the poor cat had already digested it! *Smiles and laughs* I was swept up in the world of Cranford. I fell in love with the young Dr. Harrison, with the lovely older woman Miss Matty, and with young Miss Sophy Hutton, and I loathed Lady Ludlow, but realized her flaws and sometimes seemingly ill will only showed her to be a mere fallen human, as we all are at times. 

Momma and I have now moved on to watching 'Great Expectations.' I am already in love with the characters...being that I am a largely Idealistic Empathetic person I seem to become involved in the lives of all of the characters which I glimpse through these period piece films. I love being carried away for a while. I loved hearing one of the Doctor's in the Cranford series say, trying to tell the Reverend Hutton how to mend his young daughter Sophy's broken heart once again: "Lavish her with eggs and affection..." I mean who says charming lovely things like this any more...very few people that I know can appreciate these olde words and wisdom. 

I do not own any of these period  piece films on dvd as of yet, but I would so very much like to own them all one day.  My birthday is not too far off now...perhaps I will be able to acquire some of these beloved films for my 21st birthday this year.

If you haven't watched any of these movies as of yet, I suggest you do so. They are so wholesome, feel-good, chocked full of romance and mystery, and they are a great way to spend time with a loved one while snuggled up under a quilt! I love snuggling up with my momma, laughing until we both cry aloud together and getting lost in characters lives from a time and place which I can only imagine I am from. 

I am glad that I, a Neo-Victorian as my Jared calls me, lives in the here and now...because there are many people within my time and place whom I love dearly,
-Daughter of the King

First Aid & New Moon

I started my weekend off today with taking a First Aid Course down at the Red Cross. I passed the course o' course! I missed no questions whatsoever on the exam this time...there were 15 questions. I said I wasn't gonna miss even one question and I didn't. I actually thoroughly enjoyed taking the class. I didn't like getting up at 7 a.m. though, but it was worth it in the end. I am getting myself on the right matter what job I have knowing that I have been through training in CPR and First Aid will be very helpful; and will also hopefully look great on applications. 

I bet you that everything I learned about First Aid today probably won't be used on others who are injured and hurt, well at least not very often, if at all, but I bet I will need everything I have learned today for myself. Seeing as I am the UBER KLUTZ who is nicknamed 'Grace' I am glad I finally took the First Aid Course...I'm gonna need it! :)

After class got out (class only took 3 hours...yay) I headed to Wal-Mart. You wanna know why I went to Wal-Mart? Did you say: "To support your Daddy since he works for Wal-Mart." Nope. You're wrong...that's not it! hehe I WENT TO WAL-MART BECAUSE 'THE TWILIGHT SAGA: NEW MOON' WAS OUT ON DVD TODAY THAT'S WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah, I own my own copy...the Ultimate Fan Edition of course...of New Moon! I am a Twilighter and a Team Edward member. Although, in real life I am a Daughter of the King and a Team Jared member! lol. My Momma, sister and I are probably gonna watch it later on tonight. Right now...I have an icky headache...and I am (supposed to be) cleaning my room. Spring has sprung and we all know what that means: Spring Cleaning! I happen to love to organize everything! I know...weird right? I am excited to be able to open my bedroom windows, feel the breeze rush through my room, crank the cd player (even though I have a always calms me even when mah head's a hurtin'!) and organize everything in my drawers and closet. 

Certified in First Aid & CPR & a proud 'New Moon' dvd owner,
-Daughter of the King

Dignity & Grace: My Clothing Of Choice

Last night and the last past week have been quite rough on me emotionally and spiritually. Finally coming to the realization that I am not perfect (what a concept....who'd a thunk it!? lol) was difficult for me to muster through last night. I surely cannot expect for every fellow brother and sister, Christian and non-Christian alike, to be perfect! After realizing that I've got some changes to make....and I'm already making grand strides towards them I know I can do this all with His help. I just need to remember that I'm not perfect, and I have fallen short of the glory of I should start with me and give myself grace. (Thanks Jared for that second epiphany last night...that beating myself up about this new realization of self that I hated won't help me show grace and love towards anyone else. How will I ever learn to show grace and love to others...especially when I am not showing it to myself! How can I love and show grace with hating myself? I know I cant!)

All this thinking....all these epiphanal me thinking about some things. If I am not going to be judgmental, and I'm not going to get caught up in the solid black and white thinking with no grace to be found, and if I am going to strive towards letting people in again, loving them, so as I might also be loved...then how can I do this? How can I change? What kind of a young woman do I want to be now? What specifically will I strive after? (Whew....good thing I prayed, read the Word and had coffee this morning!)

All the thinking I did last night...goodness....and this morning....lemme tell you my mind has not slowed down and stopped thinking since I had my epiphany...well, both of them. Praying and thinking about what kind of woman I want to seek to be lead me to want to be in the Word of God so heavily this morning after piano lessons...and I did. So what did I do? I checked my yahoo e-mail and there it was. I hadn't checked my devotional e-mails in about a week, so there were plenty of them to read. What do I find when I open the first Proverbs 31 ministries devotional e-mail this morning? I find this: "She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come." Proverbs 31:25 

God has a funny way of letting other people speak into our lives does He not? The devotion I opened today was entitled "Becoming A Woman of Dignity." That is exactly the kind of woman I want to be! I want to be so full of faith, dignity, grace, love and hope that everyone including me sees His love within me and desires to fall in love with My King more deeply than ever before....or even for the first time!

There were two really poignant paragraphs in the devotion I read earlier today which seemed to speak directly to was dealing with what I blogged about in my last posting last night. Here are the paragraphs below from the P31Woman devo that struck a chord on my heartstrings:

"Dignified. The very word speaks to something in my spirit. I imagine a self-controlled woman making deliberate choices about what she says and does based on her priorities. I imagine a woman whose personality is not changed by circumstances, but exhibits grace under all kinds of challenges.

What is dignity anyway? We find it mentioned in Proverbs 31:25 as something to be desired, 'She is clothed with strength and dignity.' My dictionary defines it as 'the quality or state of being worthy, honored or esteemed.' Based on that definition and the entire chapter of Proverbs 31, I believe a woman clothed in dignity is one who knows who she is in Christ, and chooses to act in ways consistent with her high calling as a child of God."

That is the woman I want to be so desperately. I know that I will fall short, that I am not perfect, that I have a lot of love to give if I would only allow God through me to be shown towards others with no fear whatsoever....and grace is something I will work on having for others and myself. I want to be that dignified woman of God. I want to be worthy of His love. I want to be honored and esteemed because others see Him within me. I want to know that I am enveloped within Christ, and that I will choose daily to act in ways that are consistent with my high calling as a young woman of the Lord. 

I am so glad that My Father has removed the wool from eyes....that he broke my legs, picked me up and is now carrying me. Now that I have been broken I can mend, and become reforged...made anew. EVERYTHING RESTS ON GRACE NOW.

I am a Proverbs 31 woman in the making...I will laugh at the days to come.
-Daughter of the King

Truth Is A Purging Tool.....A Way To Become Reforged

I can be righteously indignant. I think in black and white many room for grace. I can be quick to judge, and quick to try and fix you. My approach with people can be a bit brash. I dabble at times in the tough love approach.

I have learned a lot recently about myself. I recently talked to my Momma on the way to Fayetteville. Momma said 'Sarah you are looking at the world as being a cold are headed towards being bitter and not putting your heart out there to others. I don't know what to do as a Momma....where have I gone wrong...?' This broke my heart as my Momma told me this on our drive....and we even talked about it a little bit on the way back again. "Am I cold and bitter? Do I honestly want to have hope in, and love, for people but in my opinionated thoughts, black and white thinking, and lack of grace not show them that I have hope for them and love for them like God has shown me?"

 I have come to realize that I, an Idealist, want to see the people in this world better themselves and live as God would have them, but I also at times see no hope for them or within them. This is very hard for me to say, although true it is. I was so wounded last year...and I have only recently begun to let go of the hurt that was caused. I forgave long ago....but now I am struggling daily to let go and move forget and to grow.

I had also recently found out that a friend of mine was upset with me.....and when I did I thought "Well, what is her problem with me? I didn't do anything must be her!" Come to find out after talking about this friend with my Momma and my boyfriend Jared....both of whom are very wise and highly regarded to pour my heart out to......both of them said 'Sarah....maybe you did hurt her....maybe there is something you did....maybe you are in the wrong and should pray and look into your heart about her and your situation.' Wow. I was astonished to get such a holy 2x4 to the head and to realize that maybe it's not all about me. I was in the wrong. My friend was upset with me.....and her feelings were legitimate....I had hurt her....even though I didn't mean to.

I talked to my friend tonight asked for her forgiveness and talked it all out with her. Then tonight while on the phone with Jared....somehow my 'black and white' thinking came up in conversation. I have been feeling strongly in my heart and mind over the past week that there is some changing that I need to do in myself and my heart. Being a black-and-white-stone-cold-thinker-who-has-no-grace-and-is-also-very-opinionated won't show the love of Christ to anyone.....? Living in the past....claiming that I have no friends.....well maybe that's all the more reason for me to live in the here and now to change what God, my Momma, and Jared have all brought to light for me. I need to be more forgiving, grace filled, less quick to judge, and I must become more willing to put my heart out there to new people....and I need to realize that we all can't be perfect....we can't live in a Utopia.....God gave us free will.....if we had no reason to be forgiven we wouldn't have needed Jesus Christ to die for us!

I will be full of grace for others. I will be slow to judge and quick to listen not only with my ears but also with my heart and love that the Lord has given me. I will learn to love others again.....putting myself out there if wounding comes knocking at my door is better to have loved and to have been hurt and lost, than to have never loved at all. It would be a shame not to share the wonderful love that has been given me, and deny my fellow brother's and sister's that very same love? No more black and white...only when needed....everything rests on grace now!

Whew.....that was a lot to recognize about myself! It's I write this now....but I know growth and change will come from this epiphany. A very wise young man told me once: "Truth is a purging tool......a way to become reforged." So I now resolve that in recognizing these truths about myself....even though they aren't easy to admit to and to deal with.....I will change and become a better woman because of all this.

I will learn to see my flaws as blessings. I will see them as stepping stones to further myself onward towards living more like HIM. Thank you Lord for revealing these many truths to me about myself.....I love you endlessly!

-Daughter of the King

I Am Now Certified In Child/Infant CPR

I pass the test. ....I will diminish.....and go into the West and remain Sarah-Belle! LOL!

She Spreads Her Wings

I am liking the changes that I am making... I have quite a few more goals to reach and things to change in my life. I am very proud that I am showing myself that I can step out more and more and that I can be a bold young woman. Changing my hair is only the beginning...

Tonight I will be taking a CPR class. I am kinda nervous about going to be honest. My stomach has been torn up since last night, and what do you know I woke up with a bad stomach ache too! I have no idea why my body wants to revolt so badly when new good or bad stresses and excitement come into my life. No clue...

Well, that is about all I have to say today. Know that there are more changes coming.... I can't wait to see what God will have me do, and where HE will lead me.

If it's not too much to ask....around 6 pm tonight begin praying that I can focus during my CPR class....I really struggle with making myself focus at times....well lately anyhow. I want to pass this class so please pray that I ace the course and test and leave tonight with me being certified in CPR!

I hope you all have a wonderful day she leaves off here to go study so that she may spread her wings!

-Daughter of the King

Home Away from Home: Day 3

We started off our third day at our 'home away from home' with a day outing that we had planned and mapped out for Saturday. On the agenda: Girl's Just Wanna Have Fun!

We went downtown to go to McDuff's Tea Room & Emporium. I love going to the Tea Room....there are so many teas to choose from and the atmosphere is simply 'simple & quaint.'

Mary figuring out what to order....soup, sandwich or salad?

The bright pink glass is my tea of choice was Pomegranate Vanilla. It was SO GOOD!

This is me trying on many different hats in the 'Emporium' part of McDuff's Tea Room.

I loved this Olde English Jockey Hat

Fur Hat.....too cool....I love me some hats!

~My Tea~

~Me & My Lovely Parasol~
We went to some antique stores after eating at McDuff's. I had so much fun looking around, getting idea for how I want my home to look one day....eclectic...and snapping pics of all of the interesting items in the antique shops.

Such a cool chandeleir/lamp.

I saw this jacket in the Livery......and I thought J would look SO HANDSOME in it! ....makes me miss my guy all the more...

After spending a lovely afternoon out at McDuff's, looking in the Livery, and walking around it was time for dessert......what better than a cute little cupcake!?

So many to choose from........

I got a 'Vanilla Almond' cupcake by far that I've ever had!

~My lovely hostess & dearest kindred friend, Lynette & Me~

After a long day out and about downtown we came back to the house, where I delighted my stomach once again with Lyn's wonderful Quiche and a glass of sweet tea. I love Southern Georgian Girls! They are wonderful hostesses & cooks! Thank you Lyn for making Mary, Hannah & I a lovely Buttercup Bag! Thank you, thank you, & thank you!