Goodbye 2010, Hello 2011

"A new year means that there are many new seasons of change yet to come for us all. Trying to embrace the new seasons as they come along is what we must do." 

*First of all, Happy New Year Blogger Lovelies! How have you all been doing so far this year? Lemme just say that I've missed talking to you guys! Did you all happen to notice anything different around here? ;-)*

Now onto the post...seasons...


I am finding that after 21.5 years of living that a new season (whether it be prosperous or uncomfortably teachable, rough or easy peezy) of life is indeed borne every so often, because it is needed to temper us, and God will surely use the newfound seasons to strengthen and renew you and I. Seeing as how 2010 has just ended and 2011 has just now started off with a large bang for myself, I've been reflecting and praying a lot about the seasons of change which are surely coming my way very soon. I know that after all of this reflection my eyes have now opened a bit more than ever before. I am only hoping at this very moment in time that I can convey what the Lord has spoken into my heart recently and be able to share it with you too. 

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The very thought of change used to terrify and paralyze me to no end. I remember Driver's Ed seeming like it was gonna be the end of the known world to my nervous introverted bookish homeschooled self. Driver's Ed. was the current nightmare in my eyes, or so I thought it was at first. I will admit that I was the 16 year old girl who didn't want to step out and do anything at all, the one who sat in the family van and cried her eyes out and refused to get out of the van to go into the school to take Driver's Ed class. Yep, that frightened and pushing against growing up and the newly found changing season's girl was me. You know what though, I made it through Driver's Ed with a high A in the class, and believe you me I've been through many more challenging seasons in my short life since then.


When I had to move from my Hometown to where I am currently living at now I thought that I was literally walking through life as a dead girl, like a zombie or some ghost caught in between two worlds that floated through her days on the wisps of the wind, as they moved me to and fro. Moving my Senior year of High School I left my piano teacher, friends, hometown, church family and my past life's days in the dust as we drove away in our van. The tears began to slide down my face on our 4 hour drive to my new home after the song "Home" by Daughtry came on the radio....needless to say I wasn't a very happy camper about moving and I pretty much cried solidly for the whole 4 hours, which were accompanied by the next few months really being spent in a pool of tears much like Alice of Wonderland. This feeling of not knowing myself and having my feeling of home being tied to a certain town died and passed just as my fears had passed by in a flashing glance when I made it through Driver's Ed.


After moving I started to find myself. I started writing, and then slowly but surely I touched the piano once again after months of punishing my own self by not playing to prove some sort of point (which has always even been unknown to me as to why I did it.) I started playing music for God and for me, writing became the long awaited outlet and release which I so desperately needed. All of this said since I moved away from my hometown, which honestly to me seemed like the biggest life monster of all of my trials and seasons thus far, I began to fall more deeply in love with God and myself. 


I didn't need a place to define me anymore, or a certain look to define me, the girl in the mirror reflection was a second thought because God was the first that shone within. I could be me, and the past seasons of time taught me this. 


Heck, to prove my point about rolling with taking the season punches I'll share a little something else about me with you all....okay, well, I did not wanna go to FUGE camp where I met my now boyfriend of over a year. I was determined to back out and not go at the last second because of some current season changes and friendships that had been brutally dissevered and going on in my life only the day before I was supposed to leave which had literally broken me down. What I wanted to do was to go home, crawl into bed, turn out the light and just melt into nothingness. Instead of melting and moping in my own misery of the newly found broken season of my life I decided to pack my bag the next morning and go to FUGE anyway, determined that I would go and let God speak into my life however He saw fit (like He wouldn't do that already, because He doesn't need our permission after all!) I was so glad that I did. FUGE is where I learned to be me, to speak up for myself, to MOVE, and FUGE is where I met the young man who holds my heart now.


If I had had the choice to have skipped all of those hard seasons I went through over the last few years I probably would have skipped them in a heartbeat at the time, but now that I've lived through those seasons and come out on the other side with my eyes and heart opened wider than ever before I wouldn't change a thing about the seasons that the Lord had me walk through. 


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So I bet you are wondering why I am recounting parts of my past life seasons to you all huh? Well, truth be told, lately I've been thinking non-stop about some of the changes in season that are affecting me currently and how much I hate how these things are happening to me. While I should be thinking about how these changes are good for some and uncomfortable for others in my life instead I've been thinking a little bit selfishly. I know that seasons will affect my loved ones and that we've got to walk through them together, even when we know it will hurt and won't be easy, because after all if things are really worth it aren't they worth walking through a bit of flame to be tempered...to be as a brilliantly shining sword in the sun in the end?


I think I am finally realizing that you must roll with the punches. When God throws what you might see as a unimaginably brobdingnagian sized hurdle in your life path's way, just step aside for a moment and pray, because He put you there, He put that hurdle there for a purpose and He will lead you through it in His time ultimately. God will use the new challenging (and even at times the more carefree) seasons of your life to mold you into the young woman, young man, older woman, older man that He has intended for you to be molded into from the very beginning of time. 


"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot... He has made everything beautiful in it's time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end." {Ecclesiastes 3:1-2 & 11}

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This year my main goal is going to be choosing to be happy in whatever season that the Lord has placed me in, to the best of my human ability. I know that this goal is a huge one, and I am sure there will be days when I will still be shaken with uncontrollable sadness and heavy falling tears, but then again in the end I will remember that He's leading my every step and guiding me along the way so I know that I can pull through the rough times and smile and be filled with an abundance of joy in knowing that it was His plan all along.


I am praying that you my dear readers will come to know peace in Him leading you through your every life season. He will make you and your life's story beautiful in His glorious timing. Through seasons of joy and pain He will temper you, strengthen and refine you. 


Choosing to believe every word the Lord has spoken to my heart,

4 comments:

  1. Great post sarah. you are such a great writer. :)

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  2. Very well said!!
    Love to you!

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  3. Such perfect timing! I've been on holidays from uni for nearly 2 months now, so I can't wait to get back into studying...but then the Lord showed me what a wonderful opportunity all this time is. The time will come when I'll have barely any time to myself (at the moment, it feels like I have too much!), so I've decided to use this time however God wants me to. He gives us different seasons all for His good purposes!

    God bless, and I hope you have a wonderful 2011 :)

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