Know God. Know Peace.

"We will not know God as Jehovah Rapha, our Healer, until we experience and recognize His healing in our lives, whether spiritually, emotionally, mentally, or physically. We cannot know Him as Jehovah Jireh, our Provider, if we are not in need. We will not know Him as Jehovah Nissi, our Banner, unless we need Him for victory." - Renee Swope 

After reading a devotional this morning on Knowing God (written by Renee Swope) things really started to click for me, especially after making it through this stressful past week and after having written my restless post on Monday. 

Here's my { main } two cents after reading through the devo this morning: 

I cannot know God as Jehovah Shalom, my peace, until I experience and recognize that I need Him to find peace. 

You know, It only becomes clearer to me as the days pass on. God alone is my source of peace.  He always has been and always will be. God is our Peace-Bringer (Jehovah Shalom). God is our Healer (Jehovah Rapha). God is our Provider (Jehovah Jireh). God is our Banner (Jehovah Nissi). Etc. 

Many times (like Gideon // Judges 6) I have asked the Lord "If you're really with me God then why do I have to deal with all of this stress?" And while I do certainly remember praying for God to bring me peace at the very beginning of this year and not to bring more stress into my life, what I didn't know back then was that peace is not a thing that you can just ask for or summon up. God is peace. Therefore to know peace you must know God. So peace is a God thing, a relationship thing. 

Then I found myself asking the question "Well, I do know God right?" My answer is yes to that question, however I have identified with that part of Gideon that always knew of God, but didn't really know Him. I mean how often do I truly seek Him out because I desire to know Him better? Not often enough. Now don't get me wrong, I have sought Him out many times over the last eight or so years, but my focus on our relationship has waned and wavered over certain seasons throughout my life. But you see, I don't just want to cling to God and claim to know Him when I feel I am too stressed out and desperately need to. I want to desire to know Him more, to seek Him out.

Also, like Gideon, I know that I have been called to do mighty things. I feel God calling me to become more serious and intentional about our relationship. He has shown me very clearly over the last couple of days that when this Peace-Seeker seeks after her Peace-Bringer life changes and becomes that much more peaceful. I believe that God wants to be my peace-bringer, my (emotional) healer, my provider and most of all, like a banner, He wants to cover me and bring me victory over the stress and lack of peace that I've felt lately. 

So my prayer for peace has now transformed into a desperate cry that says "Lord, I want to know you!"