embracing unknowns

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1em·brace verb\im-ˈbrās\

All I have is now, and now holds a lot of unknowns.

I've often wondered lately "What is going on in my heart and head?" I'm just gonna lay it out there . . . I really don't know what's going on, or how I feel about all of these crazy life changes that are about to come my way just yet. Sigh. I am ready, eager even, for God to show me what embrace is really all about this year. At least I think I'm ready? *bites nails and shudders*

Do I dare even ask it of Him, for fear of not liking what I might hear? 

"What is this act of embracing all about, Lord?" I've said these words, in thoughts alone, never uttered aloud for fear of being heard, many times over the last few days. So, right now I am going to let my veins free to bleed here in this safe place . . . my nest . . . and tell you what I DO KNOW.

Embrace scares me to death. This act of embracing my life, more deeply, more fully, somehow means that I must recognize, and accept, that I am not in control over my own life path. In plain speech, this means that this type-a person, who's a planner at heart and chaotic by nature, doesn't get to plan her every move after all, and this drives her crazy! You'd think, as a follower of the Way, that I would've dropped my stubborn tendencies long ago and discovered that my life is I AM's story, and not my own. *shrugs*

God is the ultimate planner; the one who pens my paths, not me. 

But no, because that would be too easy, after all. I haven't figured this out yet, apparently, control freak that I am. And cue the. . . OUCH! My stubborn Irish-German-Many-Other-Roots-Of-Pride falls again. I can't do life on my own. I can't figure out what embrace means on my own. I can't even begin to figure out when is the best time to turn the next page of my life by myself until God pens the next chapter for me. (Now I'm getting somewhere.) Maybe I'm just supposed to sit back and embrace this full-of-too-many-unknowns season God's given me and give it all to Him, because I sure don't know how to embrace life to the best of my ability every day without knowing what's going on and being in control, but God does! 

(Oops! Did I just say that out loud? Really, Sarah Elizabeth.)

Embrace means change and surrender and new growth, and welcoming all of the wonderful and yet also very terrifying things that frighten me, because I can't. see. ahead. for the life of me. Embracing in twenty-thirteen means (at least this is what I think it means for me) that not only will restlessness in the not knowing be a constant struggle for me to overcome, but I will also become vulnerable to His will in the most beautiful of ways if I will but have faith in the face of uncertainty.

Embrace + Faith = All I Have

I'm completely fine with some aspects of my seemingly frightening word, like: embracing (literally holding someone/something) and loving (Jared & Jesus) and cherishing (my dearest ones) and clasping (tightly onto my dreams.) Those are the easy ones, mind you, but like every object, word, or person there is dark vs. light and a flipside. My One Word has more than just one visible side as well; you need only look to see it.

Its the encircling and enclosing, the acceptance of the vastly changing seasons that are sure to come upon me soon . . . the learning of how to gently embrace life in the face of uncertainty that unnerves me and frightens me . . . like walls closing in around me, suffocating. I guess what I'm feeling right now must be part of His plans for me, somehow. I mean, why else would I need to walk through all of these doubts and frustrations, if not for a purpose beyond my understanding? *deep breath*

Deep breaths and prayers help.

To embrace requires me to let my arms fall to my forlorn sides, to spread my arms wings wide open, and to do the very opposite of embracing so that I can embrace. I must surrender. I must ask for direction. I must ask I AM to write my story and relieve my fears of the unknowns in my life. And in doing so, I know that I will someday become filled, fully able to live life more deeply, full of faith, as an embracer.


  1. So well-written! I certainly identify with this at my stage in life!!

    1. It's so nice to hear from you, Casiphia! Hope we can reconnect soon.

  2. Aaahh! This post speaks so much truth to me right now! Seriously I definitely know how you feel/felt when you typed this post. Embracing is hard stuff--especially when it comes to completely trusting in God and His perfect plans for us. Definitely easier said than done.

    Praying for ya, girl! :)

    1. You said it, Kiki! Thanks so much for commenting and following! It's so nice to have you here in the nest! Oh, and thanks for the prayers! Lemme know if we can swap prayer requests, okay? ;-)

  3. My, my, my, rereading as I ready to plunge into this new year with this same word. Thank you for letting me share it, sister. Can't wait to see where it leads--and yet I echo all this uncertainty, too!


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