all over the place

{image via - weheartit.com}

     Yes, all over the place. That is how my body, mind and heart feels as of late...oh yeah, my life too! How could I forget to mention that? I have been "on my knees" a lot lately, and on my back in bed, in pain a lot too. I have been super happy over some major blessings and opportunities that have graced my life currently (which I will reveal in time...but not right now though because I can't!), and then there have been days like yesterday where I just cried my eyes out on the way to work after having had an evening of tossing and turning in my super comfy bed and not being able to rest as I had desperately wanted (and so needed) to because of the pain I was in....and because I miss Jared who is 5 hours away from me right now.

     Honestly, I was in so much pain yesterday that I could barely function. I've been going to the Chiropractor for a little while now due to some serious back problems. Let's just say that my spine should be aligned up and down vertically with the natural curves in place, but instead my spine is in a C-shape at the moment (at a 20 degree angle shift is what I think the Doctor said...?) and is suffering from major Chiropractic Sublaxation (check out this Wiki link for more info) between the discs of my spinal vertebra. In other words, according to what the Doctor said, if I hadn't come in when I did and started getting my back worked on I probably, with more time, would have to have ended up having major spinal/back surgery...including inserting metal rods and/or metal discs and screws into my spinal column. Fun stuff, huh? I also have a really messed up Sacrum that is not sitting where it SHOULD BE and my hips are improperly aligned as well. I feel like a 60+ year old in a 21-almost-22 year old's body!

     So yeah, that's why I haven't been on Blogger too much recently. I've been trying to concentrate on breathing (and doing so without pain...because it hurts to breath in lately), working, my photography, reading and just trying to live through my everyday life pain free. It's been a challenge though lately.  I don't want these pains to own me, but sometimes I feel like they do. On top of the pain, I feel like I've been heaped upon by two large mountains in my life. The first mountain is called "Many Blessings" and the second mountain is called "Many Stresses." My joy, at the moment, heavily outweighs the stresses, but it's still a daily struggle for me to just forget that I am in pain and dealing with the stresses of the world!

     Would you mind praying for me dear ones? Please, pray for my physical health, my mental health, my spiritual health and my relationship health as well, too. I'd appreciate it so much if you would. You, all my lovely readers, are a big support and I consider each and every one of you sweet dear friends! =)

    I promise that some more "normal" posts will be coming soon. I just watched a really awesome movie yesterday, while icing my back, that was really great and I absolutely cannot wait to share about it with you! You need to see this movie, that I am coyly hinting at right now! As well as an upcoming movie review I also have a "surprise" interview I did with someone who is highly respected, loved and very important to me coming up in a two part blog post series. So please keep an eye out for those posts, and keep me in your prayers when you're on your knees, please!

P.S. - Extra prayer may be needed for my crazy family and I as we take the small steps towards becoming self sustained human beings utilizing Creation and our 5 acres of land. What this entails you may ask? Well, this means that us crazies are getting a shipment of a thousand worms! (We may keep them in the house, which is freaking my sister out! Hehe!) Yes, my friends, we are becoming worm farmers! Haha! We are also getting ready and preparing to raise chicks-to-hens for our own fresh eggs as well, and we are beginning to landscape our property and starting to plan out our crops for our garden this year. So many weird and exciting thing are beginning to shape up for me and my family already this year. Whew! That was random wasn't it?  Hope you all are having a blessed stress and pain free day! ;-)

just be a tree

{image via DeviantArt: ElifKarakoc}


"I am sick of praying," I blurted out angrily over the phone to my boyfriend. Jared calmly said the words that I did not want to hear. They were the words that I absolutely did not want to realize for what they really were, the words I had known deep within myself that I needed to take to heart all along. He said "Sarah, maybe instead of praying for what you want, you should instead pray for what He would have for you." I knew that he was right, but I, with my bold stubborn streak deeply embedded within me, just didn't want to hear him out, or pray later on that night after I had hung up with him on the phone. I was angry that I didn't hear God. I wanted the answers to my questions within my timeline, not His. I felt hopeless.

Hopelessness is not something I want to feel during my prayer time with the Lord, but sometimes, human as I am, that is how I feel. I couldn't understand why the silent moments that I was given to entertain spending some precious time with my Lord that night frightened and irritated me so much. In those breaking moments I started asking some serious questions, "Why haven't you been answering me God?" "Have You been answering me all along and I just could not hear You?" Then the thought struck me, perhaps my ears were just deafened to His voice, because I was so tuned into my fears, my wants and the world at the time, and sadly, not enough into Him.

As I laid there in my bed tossing and turning while staring at the ceiling, heart and mind heavy, I tried to pray the same prayer that I had been praying for the past few weeks, but in a newly birthed way. I once again ran down the list of desires and needs with God, and still I felt badgered by life in the back of my mind. Finally, after shutting out all of my worries, the real desires and needs began to flow out from my mind to God, sincerely this time.

I knew that I hadn't been trusting the Lord with leading my life like how I should've been. I knew that honestly, unless I heard the answers to my prayers the way that I wanted to hear them, that I didn't really want to hear anything at all from the Lord. I am ashamed to say that I've felt that way, but it is the truth. I knew that there were things in my life...relationships even...that I needed to pray about and stop lying to myself about and just face the music, so to speak.

The next day, after accepting the reality that the Lord was speaking to me in His way, and in His time, I came across this verse that spoke to my heart: 

"But blessed is the man who trusts me, God, the woman who sticks with God. They're like trees replanted in Eden, putting down roots near the rivers--Never a worry through the hottest of Summers, never a dropping a leaf, serene and calm through droughts, bearing fresh fruit every season." (Jer. 17:7-8, The Message)

God wants my life, my prayers, my joy, my sadness and my weaknesses. For it is in my weakness that I am made strong by Him (2 Cor. 12:10). In my recent prayers I have shown my weaknesses to Him in the truest of forms, and I believe faithfully that He is the strength that is working within me and my life that I always need.

I'm learning that I just need to be a tree. A tree with roots that outstretch towards the Most High's living waters daily, dropping worry without care throughout every season that I am to be weathered through. I'm learning that even in spiritual droughts there is still fruit to be had and produced, if I will let the Great Gardener prune and replenish the tree that is me. And most of all I am learning that I need to become a Kneeology Major, Minoring in Life.

a musical tag for fun

I was tagged by the lovely Miss Raquel! Thanks, girl! This looks quite fun! 

List 10 artists in no particular order
{before looking at the questions below}

1. Anberlin

2. Falling Up

3. Nevertheless

4. Thousand Foot Krutch

5. JJ Heller

6.  Eisley

7. Paper Tongues

8. Red

9. And By Love

10. Tokio Hotel
And now, for some pretty neat and thoughtful questions!!!

What was the first song you ever heard by 6? 
Um, I think the first song I ever heard by Eisley was "Marvelous Things" and from then on I've been hooked on them. (Thanks to Alaythea C.!!)

What is your favourite song of 8?
"Hymn For The Missing" and "The Fight Inside"

What kind of impact has 1 left on your life? 
Goodness, where should I start? Anberlin has been the band that I have grown up listening to and with. I started listening to their first record as a juvenile and well, their first album's direction was a little bit  more juvenile and quite "Me Against The World" which worked because I was 14/15 and I kinda felt the same way. After their other albums came out they become more man versus man, and then they just kept on maturing as did I. It always has seemed that their newest album and songs have come out just at the right time in my life, just when I needed to take the lyrics they wrote to heart to strengthen myself. I also caught my love's eye for the first time while wearing my Anberlin t-shirt (Jared was wearing his Marvel shirt...hehe!)

What is your favorite lyric of 5's? 
"If I could not hold a pen, I would write of you on my heart instead...You have bought me with your blood and I am painted red by your love." (Painted Red)

How many times have you seen 4 live? 
Ugh. Never. I need to though!

What is your favorite song of 7? 
"Trinity" but "Ride To California" is pretty funky and awesome too!

Is there any song of 3 that makes you sad? 
The song "Rest" makes me somewhat sad in the fact that there have been many times when I've failed to rest in God and instead just pretended to live life...alone. Here are some of the lyrics from the song: "You found a way to go on for days, pretending to live, you're not okay with all of that weight, you need to give up, come now just let it go, let it fall down, let it all flow like, the water that's rushing in over your soul 'til there's nothing left, won't you come to me and rest."

What is your favorite song by 9?
"Patience" It is so beautifully moving to me.....the lead singer has such a strong beautiful voice...or should I say handsome voice since guys don't wanna be called beautiful? Just listen to the song, and you'll know what I'm talking about! lol The song is sort of punk-pop-rock (to me) as it builds too which is fab! Check out the band on Facebook at this link:  And By Love

How did you first get into 2? 
I heard their song "Broken Heart" on the late night Christian radio station in my old hometown and after that night I went searching for their CD's at the Family Christian Store and since then I've been head over heels in LIKE with these guys!

How did you first get into 3? 
I think I heard one of their songs on a WOW album once or something, and then I saw their CD in Best Buy, and seeing as how I had a gift card to spend I didn't hesitate to give Nevertheless the benefit of the doubt with my gift card. I wasn't disappointed.

What is your favorite song by 4? 
"Rawkfist" It's THE CLASSIC. I've many other favorite songs by them though.

How many times have you seen 9 live? 
I've never seen them live, but maybe someday I will go back to my Hometown and pay the band a visit!

What is a good memory concerning 10? 
Oh gosh! Singing "Automatic" in the car at the top of my lungs while driving through the mountains with my momma and sister.

Is there a song by 8 that makes you sad? 
Nope, not really.

What is your fave song of 1's? 
"Dismantle. Repair." Picking only ONE song is just downright wrong! Anberlin is my ALL-TIME-FAVE band, so really every one of their songs is my favorite! Different seasons of my life make me like certain songs of theirs more than others.

How did you become a fan of 10?
I went on a trip to Florida with an old friend one time and her cousin kept on talking about this German band called Tokio Hotel.....and well, since a lot of my family is German and the blood flows through my veins I just had to go have a listen to them and check them out.

I hereby tag anyone who is willing to join the musical tag fun! Oh yeah!

wee bit of me wednesdays {4}






{one} what was your first job?
Babysitting.  I started babysitting around the age of 12 for our next door neighbor's.  At the time they had two little boys, one of which was a newborn.  I actually had the joy of babysitting their two little precious sons W. and B. on the day that their new baby brother (also "B" ) was born. I love working with kiddos....oh the many stories I could tell all of you! =)

{two} have you ever seen a stand up comedian?
Does seeing Bean & Bailey at Chillipepper 2010 count?  They were pretty darn funny!

{three} when was the last time you played mini golf?
Oh my gosh.....um..... I think I may have been like 13 or 14 the last time I played mini golf. I am not that great at the game, and usually the only way you can get me to play mini golf is to seriously force me into doing it. Maybe I should give mini golf another shot......what do you think?

{four} what was the last picture you took?
I took the photo above. :)

{five} burnt food: yes or no?
Bacon? Yes. Fried Turkey? Yes.

{six} if you have a pocket full of change, what do you do with it?
Put it in my coin purse that's attached to the backside of my wallet, of course!

{seven} can you touch your tongue to your nose?
Sadly, no. I can touch my toes to my nose though! hehe

{eight} do you scrapbook?
Yes. I love scrapbooking! Photography and scrapbooking go hand in hand for me. I only wish that I had more money to buy lots of pretty stickers and papers to keep in my creative stash!

{nine} do you buy lottery tickets?
I bought a lottery ticket once, and I've done a few scratch offs, but it is not a habit that I am going to get myself into. 

{ten} do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it?
I like to be the photographer, not the photographed. =P



what i've been... {march}

The polls have rolled in m'dears, and it seems that you all quite like my quirky "What I've Been" posts so much that I've decided to start writing them monthly (for now at least.) I hope you enjoy reading these posts, because I sure do love writing them! Read on, lovelies...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 Discovering:

{photo by: me}

While I may not be the BEST photographer in the world I am indeed becoming an improved one every time I take a hold of my camera and get out there and take a thousand more photos and play around with my camera's many settings.

I've discovered that our local donut shoppe has the BEST Orange Twist donuts ever, my friends! Seriously, I ate two yesterday and they were ammmmmmmmmmazing! Sadly I took no photos of my lovely delectable Orange Twist.....guess I'll have to go get another one!

-Jared's new header, designed by me-

That while I am designing a header or new blog look for someone else I am cool as a cucumber and can get it done quite quickly (if I do say so myself!), but when I re-design my whole blog or just my header I am such an OCD ADD Perfectionist type of a person that it takes me hours to work on it all and I get all stressed out (I know I need to take a chill pill....or get someone else to do my blog design next time...right?)


Listening to

-eisley's new album 'the valley'-

I am loving this album. I cannot explain what it sounds like exactly, you'll just have to take my word for it that this album is a delightful melodic listen and go have an earful for yourself.

-tron legacy soundtrack-

I have listened to this album over and over again while writing and scrapbooking this past week, and I honestly never get tired of hearing it. Daft Punk is amazing and as far as movie scores go Tron: Legacy has the best one I've heard in a loooong time folks!

Reading:


 Marybeth Whalen recently stopped by my blog and left me a couple of very sweet comments, in one of which she suggested her book to me because she thought it'd be right up my alley after she saw what was on my little bookshelf on my blogs sidebar. So far she is right...it is up this gal's alley! I have only just started reading this book, but so far it has swept me away. I'll let you all know how I like/love it later, okay?

Learning:
That being an adult is a big fat pain in the batukus sometimes, but you've just gotta woman/man up and learn how to deal. Do your worst (adult life)! No, that was not an invitation asking for pain to be inflicted upon me and my life, that was me saying that Life you just bring it on because my Lord and I can do battle with you anytime, anywhere, understood!? =P

That lying to yourself stinks BIG time. It just does. Really.

That prayer without ceasing is promising, even when you can't see it in the beginning.


Hearing From God:

Plug in. Trust me. Speak truth. Have faith. (Sounds simple doesn't it? Ha! It's more like an every day work in progress, if you ask me.)

Watching:

-red riding hood-

Okay, so here's the deal. My momma and I went to go see this movie the Saturday before last......and we both disliked it BIG time! I don't even know where to begin to start telling you all just how bad this movie really was. The actors were just fair in my opinion, the film was filmed quite shaky and made me sick to my stomach throughout the whole 2-ish hours, the music score was extremely weak and laughable at moments, the sensuality was way overdone and disgusting, and to top it all off, Red Riding Hood, the movie that was supposed to keep you guessing up until the last moment as to who the Big Bad Wolf really is was totally predicted by myself (and proved right at the end of the movie) within the first 10 minutes of the film. Brilliant plot...they thought. Ha, yeah right!

-man vs. food-

I started watching this show this past Sunday after Church and lemme tell you that I thoroughly enjoyed it, and most certainly will continue to watch this show. My only minor qualm with the show's host, Adam Richman, is that they've had to bleep out one not so nice word a couple of times during the show. Other than the two nasty bleeped out words that were uttered watching him eat ginormous meals and seeing him travel all over is very interesting to me. I wish I could travel all over the place and eat tons of food as my job! 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

What have you been discovering about yourself, listening to, reading, learning, hearing from God and watching lately? 

*Just so you know, I don't mind copy cats, as long as you let me know that you've written a "What I've Been..." post too ( and you link your post back to me), so that I can check out your most current happenings as well.

to life i say "Do Your Worst!"


When I think about my life in the grand scheme of things I seem to become of lesser importance, or at least I think so and I know that I should become lesser and be filled by more of Him. Even though everything that's been going on in my life lately feels super confusing and way too BIG to me to handle, and my fears seem like they are bigger than me too, I remind myself over and over again that my God is BIGGER! God is BIGGER than my many fears. God is BIGGER than my many mistakes. God is BIGGER than my yesterday, today and tomorrow. God is BIGGER and greater than I. God has BIGGER plans for me than I even have for myself. God is BIGGER than my check book and the state of the economy. God is BIGGER than my love for my love. God is BIGGER than my pains. God is BIGGER than my life and it's ongoing's and He is most certainly BIGGER than anything or anyone else in this world that you and I call our home (temporarily.)


To my Life that seems BIGGER than me today I say "Do your worst!" for I will do my best Life, and if You don't think that my best is good enough for You then You can just throw Your worst at me if You'd like to, because my God is way BIGGER than You!

I know that my God is BIGGER. He alone will work all of these loose threads in my life together for His glory in His time, because HE. LOVES. ME. (& You Too.)

wee bit of me wednesdays {3}




{one} scruffy or clean shaven?
Well, I do happen to like it when Jay's face gets kinda scruffy. I do love a 5 o'clock shadow on a tall dark and handsome bright blue-eyed man, oh yes I do! I just don't like the whole "I am gonna try to grow a beard/mustache now maybe-thing" and it ends up growing in weird or looking like Qui-Gon Jinn (Liam Neeson) did in 'Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace' or something.

{two} what's your favorite sundae topping?
I am going to agree with the masses and say...definitely hot fudge!

{three} do you own slippers?
I own slippers yes, but I am more of a toe-socks or no socks kinda gal.

{four} did you ever have a tree house?
I had a huge playhouse at my first home when I was a little girl full of all of my polly pockets, books, littlest pet shop's and stuffed animals.....but no, I never had a 'tree house.'

{five} how do you relieve stress?
That's not something I'm not very good at doing these days! I usually don't even realize that there is some stressful underlying problem with myself until my momma or boyfriend points it out to me. I mean sometimes I can tell that something is going on with me, but I usually can't figure it out for a long while for the life of me until I emotionally explode. The emotional explosions usually consist of me crying or my emotions manifesting into negative physical ways, like getting sick to my stomach, headaches, etc. I usually pray to God, talk to my momma and my boyfriend when I am uber stressed out.

{six} what is your favorite dr. seuss book?
I am a big fan of 'The Cat In The Hat' and 'Green Eggs & Ham.'

{seven} have you ever taken dance classes?
I don't dance, at all. This is why I watch the show 'So You Think You Can Dance and only dream about being a beautiful dancer like the ones on the show. I am a hopeless dancer, for real!

{eight} which do you use more: the thesaurus or the dictionary?
I use the Dictionary pretty much daily. merriamwebster.com is brilliance I tell you! ;-)

{nine} what's your favorite form of exercise?
I love going swimming in our pool in our backyard, hiking in the mountains, or going for long walks around where I live at...and I am growing to love some Yoga too!

{ten} what's the longest you've ever waited in line?
Um, the first time that comes to my mind is when the 'Twilight Saga: Eclipse' dvd was released and my friend Alaythea and I went to Wal-Mart to stand in line a few hours early before it came out, and like hardly anyone was there. It was nice getting to talk to Alaythea for a few hours while waiting, but it was super funny that there weren't nearly as many people there as we had thought there would be! 

a movie review: The Rite

{The Rite (2011)}

{"The Rite" was based on the book "The Rite: The Making of a Modern Exorcist" by: Matt Baglio image via: reelmovienews.com}

I went to go see The Rite in theater's a few weeks ago with my family, and truth be told I wasn't sure exactly what type of movie I would be walking into. I was unaware that this supposed "Horror Flick" would make me think deeper about my faith in Jesus Christ. I surely did not think that a story about one of western civilization's more taboo subjects, Exorcism, would make for a great family discussion later on about faith, and the light and the darkness combating one another during our very modern days with my family after we got out of the movie theater.

This movie is rated PG-13 and it most certainly deserves this rating. *Please know that as you continue to read on through this review that it will also be from a Christian perspective (mine) but will also contain PG-13 elements, so if you are a young woman or man that is younger than 13 you may want to ask your parents or guardians permission before any further reading of this particular movie review on Daughter of the King.*

That said, perhaps you are now wondering why I would choose to watch such a movie about exorcisms and demons of all things and then choose to write a review on it after all of the other countless more light hearted movies that I've watched over the years that I could review instead. Honestly, my answer to that question is that there have been quite a few movies labeled as "Christian" films that have come out over the years (or ones with 'supposed' Christian themes), and for the most part they were living up to their label in their reviews in my opinion, however there have also been other movies out there that have been cloaked in and labeled as "Christian Truth," or bits of truth that were indeed not "Christian," and that is why I feel the need to watch these so called labeled "Christian" movies, to decipher them for myself and then to share my thoughts on them with you.

The Story of The Rite:
The Rite is a story about a young man, named Michael Kovak, who is desperately searching for answers in his life. Michael, alongside his father, works in the family business: a mortuary. (Warning: if your stomach is super easily turned this may not be a movie you will want to watch because the opening scenes are of Michael prepping a dead body for burial in his basement/mortician's workspace. I was a little worried when the movie started off like this, but it all worked out well in the end, and truth be told watching Michael with the body showed a lot about his character and how he is the type of young man that he is...and ultimately becomes.)

Michael and Father Matthew
Michael has had enough of working for his father as a mortician and decides to try out, and gain some answers about Faith all the while, by looking into his family's other handed-down-through-the-generations second choice occupation: The Catholic Priesthood. Michael enrolls in seminary, and his journey of travelling into the unknown darknesses and light of the world truly begins.

A tragic event occurs right before Michael goes through with his vows of Priesthood, and then he starts to questioning everything all over again. Michael sends a message to Father Matthew at the school via e-mail saying that he cannot do it (go through with his vows) and that he desires to withdraw from seminary, and then the friendly Father decides to come and talk to Michael about Faith, the Priesthood, and a possible trial-run across seas that he'd like Michael to experience and see for himself, to possibly strengthen his Faith in God and make him reconsider backing out of the Priesthood. Father Matthew asks Michael to hold off on his taking vows and possibly leaving the seminary completely just yet, and convinces Michael to travel to Italy to study exorcism. This is a big decision for Michael to make, but if he backs out of seminary his schooling costs will be left for him to pay in it's entirety: $100,000....yeah, yikes! Michael decides to take this on and see just where Faith, or his lack thereof leads him.

Michael and Father Xavier

After Michael reaches Italy it's pretty clear that he himself doesn't know why he is even there. While at the exorcism class Michael meets an attractive young woman, named Angeline, who is a reporter with an interesting past who is also studying in the exorcism class, she just so happens to also be placed in his life for a reason (but I won't spoil it for you!) Father Xavier, sees that perhaps he is not getting through to Michael in the way he thought he would be able to, and at his suggestion Michael goes and visits the rather unusual character and exorcist that is Father Lucas (played by Anthony Hopkins.) After meeting Father Lucas Michael experiences his first exorcism in person, that of a young pregnant teenager. After seeing the exorcism (which has been number I dunno out of how many they've already done) on the young possessed woman Michael still is not convinced in his Faith or in the rite and acts of exorcism. Father Lucas's methods are somewhat out there compared to the usual exorcism practices of the Vatican, and this only makes it harder for Michael to understand and accept the things that are seen and heard before him.

The plot only thickens as the young possessed woman gets worse by the day, and day after day Michael finds Father Lucas to be even more unbelievable as a man of Faith and a "true exorcist," not that he completely believes in demons and such things at this point really anyway. Weird things start taking place as the demon within Rosaria seems to grow stronger and more sadistic as time goes on....it is in the strange weird happenings that ensue that Michael is tested in his Faith more than ever and he begins to see that there are indeed strong forces of darkness at work in the world. *Spoiler*[ Rosaria and her unborn child finally meet their fate; the demon taking both of their lives while in the Hospital (luckily a lot is left to the imagination in this scene, and all that you see is the bed where she had lain and died. This happening shakes Father Lucas' faith and makes Michael confused and saddened.]

 I will admit that after watching the exorcism(s) in this movie (I've actually seen one done before on a young woman who was truly possessed.....on a show....totally legit) that they were indeed true to form, and authentically showed how demons work within their host vessels. I cringed as the young woman seemingly disappeared and the demon took possession over her and her body. The young woman writhes in ways unimaginable to the human mind, and it is a bit disturbing at moments what with the demons words flowing from the pretty young woman's lips, but then again Satan disturbs me. I don't know about you!

I won't tell you any further than this of what happens in the story, because I do not want to ruin it for you!

Meet The Main Characters & Cast:

Michael Kovak (the man searching for Faith in God) - played by Colin O'Donoghue

Father Lucas Trevant (the unconventional exorcist) - played by Anthony Hopkins

Rosaria (the young pregnant teen who is possessed) - played by Marta Gastini


Angeline (the reporter) - played by Alice Braga

Negative Elements:
The morgue scene was a bit too realistic for me (if you know what I mean.) The dead bodies are covered where it counts, but they are dead after all (quite creepy) and being prepped for burial which might make some people's stomach turn as it did mine a teensy bit.

There is one scene that takes place at a bar, between Michael and a friend that is rather 'interesting' I'll just say. Their dialougue is quite open, a little more than it should be in my opinion. (Remember that people are sinners who can be redeemed and saved by His grace!) One very  immodest young woman makes a quite sexual comment to Michael outside of a bar, which is again referenced later on by the demon possessed young woman (the demon is playing with Michael's fears and doubts at that time.)

When Michael goes to the exorcism classes there are slides that can be glimpsed of possessed individuals with dislocated jaws, etc. This may be disturbing to some.

The demon that Father Lucas and Michael are trying to combat is very malicious in it's nasty usage of language and making bodies writhe, which at times can be very disturbing. I will admit that there was one line that the demon says while it is within Rosaria that completely turned my stomach to goo and made me feel sick (but it made you feel what it was intended to, that Satan will try to knock your wind out of you at all costs no matter what through the words he speaks while trying to sway us to the darkness, etc.) Rosaria, while taken over by the demon, writhes suggestively on the floor for a few moments. 

As far as bad language goes, this Horror flick didn't have too much. Actually, I was quite surprised that the language and words and things that the demon spoke about aloud were not MORE colorful than they were. Michael does use the f-word at one moment, where really it did not need to have been used (nor does it EVER though.) Most of the iffy language is said by the demon possessed individuals and not the main characters.


Positive Elements:
Michael may have strayed from the straight and narrow path quite a few times in his lifetime (with his friendships, women, choices and doubting faith along the way), but ultimately he knows that his life must move forward, and when he begins to stride along a new path he knows that the questions to his longed for answers lie ahead of him if he will begin to make moves. Michael's move is joining the Catholic seminary to study and one day hopefully to become a Priest (his other accepted family occupation.) Michael may struggle in knowing himself and his faith truly, but once things start shifting around him (in a disturbing test of faith that inflicts itself right in front of him...one that Michael thinks may be his fault) and doubt sets in. He knows that he must either quit and completely give up on his possible future in the Priesthood and try to return to the mortuary/home to work alongside his (seriously interesting) father or he must try to glimpse faith and truth with everything he has along the way (lucky for him and us he does keep on seeking and learning about faith and snuffing out his doubts as we continue to follow him throughout the movie.)

Michael doubts himself, Father Matthew, Father Xavier, Father Lucas, and God and pretty much everyone around him. He wants an answer to everything that he's faced in life so far (the death of his mother, why his father is the way he is, what steps to take next in th world), but doesn't know if he wants to fight for it or not. This doubt of knowing naught where to go or what to do in his life drives his  footsteps throughout the first half of the movie, and his doubts are tested and tested yet again. Not only does he  learn about demonic forces and exorcisms in the classroom, but when he starts shadowing alongside Father Lucas Trevant things get even more confusing for this almost Catholic Priest. Experiencing an exorcism of a young woman named Rosaria, and performing one himself in the second half of the film starts to shape him into the man of faith that he is destined to be.

Michael has many choices to make as time begins to tick away, a young woman begins to fight for her life and her unborn child's life; other threads and trails of the demonic plagues start to surround and follow Michael and Father Lucas as the story continues on, and then finally both men begin to face their biggest fears and tests yet (it will blow your mind I assure you!) I will not spoil the ending for you, but know that there is a dynamic shift in light versus darkness in the last few moments of this movie.

Just like Michael Kovak we are all searching for the light and truth. This brilliant movie (in my opinion) is disturbing in all the right ways. Satan and his hoard of demons should sicken us and be known as reality to each and every one of us in it's most disturbing manner. This movie made me cringe, it tested my own faith, it broadened my knowledge of God and Satan and it caused me to be stripped down in my faith like Michael, and then I had to search for the answers all over again. I loved and hated the way this movie made me feel, which in all honesty is a wonderful thing.

Religious Aspects: 
This films major religious views are that of Roman Catholicism. While I have no issues with the rite of exorcism within the Catholic Church and Faith (I sometimes wonder why say  a Baptist Preacher does not learn how to perform the rite of exorcism on possessed individuals? Why is exorcism seen and practiced as an only 'Catholic-thing?') I do have issues with some of their doctrine.

In Closing: 
In my opinion this movie, if watched with a strong stomach and an open mind, has so much to offer on the subject of Faith. There is truth to be glimpsed within this film, and many hard questions to be answered as you travel alongside Michael Kovak on his Faith journey through darkness and into the light once again. I would give this move somewhere between 4 - 4 1/2 stars out of 5. The cinematography, actors, score, lighting, themes and storytelling are all a sure-fire win in my book. Sure there may have been times when I cringed and squirmed when certain words were uttered by demon possessed individuals throughout the movie, but you must take things with a grain of salt and keep in mind that Satan is real and he is no "Angel!"


Question to you fellow readers: 
Are there any "Christian" labeled movies that you have heard about that you are not too sure about watching (perhaps you'd like me to watch it and review it here on dotk?) What are they? Have you watched any controversial religious films? What are your thoughts on these types of films?