Some Free Thinking

"When God is personally present, a living Spirit, that old, constricting legislation is recognized as obsolete. We're free of it! All of us! Nothing between us and God, our faces shining with the brightness of His face. And so we are transfigured much like the Messiah, our lives gradually becoming brighter and more beautiful as God enters our lives and we become like Him."
~2 Corinthians 3:17-18~ (The Message Bible)

An idea struck me this morning, after I finished reading my devotion and my friend Alaythea's blog (Rock 'N' Roll Hideaway). I read this scripture verse, and I also read Alaythea's blog entry entitled 'The Heart of Life'...and some serious thoughts started flowing, and some synapses were connecting...can you say 'light bulb moment'? lol

Everything I thought that I was supposed to have in my life has been revealed as 'constricting legislation'...'worldly' rules that I thought I had to follow...things that I thought I had to run after and seek out up until this year. The things I thought I had to seek were things like pursuing and hoping that I would have a large group of friends, and expecting them to be 'true' and 'perfect.' Number one: very seldom is it that you actually find a 'true' friend other than Christ, your family and your other half (yes, Jared, I'm talking about you right now.) Number two: Nobody is perfect except Christ! 

God says when He is the 'Best Friend' that is ever present and continually invited into our lives by us daily that He will set us FREE! I know it is indeed true that our lives will become brighter when we seek His face out of the sea of worldly faces that surround us and vie for all of our attention. I know this is true because I had a large group of friends last wanna know how many of them are still my friends...who have stuck around and have held me when I was broken? None. God has been there the whole time for me...He never left my side. For a while I was kind of mad at God. I thought "Why in the world Lord would you move me from my hometown where I loved my life and I had friends? Why would you move me to an unknown territory, where I would make a lot of new friends after a loooong while and then they would all turn on me?

I have even thought "What is God teaching me...telling me?" I think I have figured all of this out now... God moved me so that I would depend on no one other than Him and so that I would finally learn to stand on my own two feet a bit. God gave me friends in my new town to help sharpen me and mold me into a much stronger and bold young woman for Him. The reason they turned on me...well at long last I finally realize that it had nothing and everything to do with me! 

Let me explain... Me losing all of the friends I made here had nothing to do with me, in the fact that 'my friends' chose not to be transparent, they chose not to stick by me when I needed them the most, they gossiped about me behind my back, they lied to my face, and they used me to their own advantages because I let them...blindly. Me losing my friends had 'everything' to do with me also, in the fact that God has used all of that negativity in my relationships that I had with all of 'my friends' to strengthen me into a woman who can think for herself, speak up for what she wants in life and for what is longer being trampled upon because I have found myself in the midst of all of the chaos of last years 'friend wars.'

It is really hard for me to accept the fact that 'kindred spirits' are really hard to come by these days, because I consider myself to be just that, a kindred spirit. I do not come across as an overly talkative, bubbly and friendly person at first, and that is simply because I am testing the waters with you. I am reserved and quiet, and I am kind and steadfast. If you have ever heard the phrase 'There's something rotten in the State of Denmark' well then you should know that that saying accurately describes my personality. I am naturally suspicious of others and their intentions by nature. I am cautious and careful about the friends I choose to surround myself with and of whom I decide to spend my time with. 

When I do choose to pursue a relationship with a 'potential friend' it is in the hopes of a 'forever friend.' I do not like the 'fair weathered' type of friend and I cannot stand people using people for a while until they are done with them. I want a friend who is focused on God, who will sharpen me, who will make me laugh, who will be transparent with me and who will stand steadfast beside me. Who could such a friend be? I can list a few for you that I know are truly there for me as friends in my own life....Jesus sissy......Jared.....Lynette...

I am learning that my "BEST ENDLESS FRIEND" IS JESUS CHRIST. I have been blessed to have had many different friends pass through my life throughout the different seasons that I have been through, and I thank HIM alone for each and every friendship that I was a part of, because even if the friendship didn't last, or it was mostly one sided I know that God put me and that 'friend' there together for a reason....even as iron sharpens iron. 

I am an authentic friend...a forever friend. I seek to be that friend that 50 years from now you will remember me ever so fondly, or are still in contact with. I thank God that I have seen that all I need to do with the time that has been given me is to seek Him out and to love my family, and my boyfriend who HE brought into my life at just the right moment. I thank HIM that I have wonderful jobs which I love working at with all of my heart, mind, and strength! I get to work with 'little blessings' all day long every day at the Preschool, and I also get to share my love of music with my piano students weekly. 

Lord I thank you for the 'new friends' that are in my life right now, whether they are the 'forever' sort or not. 
-Daughter of the King

Falling Slowly

"Falling Slowly" from the "Once" movie soundtrack is a song that has been stuck in my head for a long time now, and I figured I would share it with all of you. The song has such a sweet story within it...two strangers who meet...who share their passion and love of music with one another...they realize that they have fallen slowly... I hope you all enjoy listening, because I know that I enjoyed playing and singing this beautiful song for you and myself.
-Daughter of the King

PS- The soundtrack for the movie 'Once' is much better than the movie is, although I did like the movie "Once" it does have some 'colorful'language in it...minus all of the colorful-ness the movie's story and soundtrack is quite lovely.

Is There A Divide Among Us? It's Not What You May Think...

"Come close to God, and God will come close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world."
-James 4:8 (The Message)

As I read this verse this morning in my devotion time I knew that I was meant to read it today, as I sat there quietly before the Lord, tears forming on the brims of my eyes. I was feeling like I was once again lost out in the desert, thirsting for HIM and HIS direction. I needed to draw close to HIM today, to sit alone with just HIM, to commune with HIM, and pray about all that is going on in my heart and head, to try and separate myself from the 'grey' that was taking me over by storm.

I have been struggling recently with feeling like I am divided...divided from many different things in my life, and from some people even. (I told you this is not going to be about what you may have thought it was going to be about! I am obviously taking the scripture not so literally this time, but rather 'spinning' off of it, so to speak.) It is so frustrating, feeling this division, and not knowing how to cope with it, or how to even begin to climb out from under it at times. 

I have felt such division in friendships over the past year, and in trusting in those whom I love, and even in feeling safe and secure in knowing that people will stand beside me, and not continually run away from me, as they so often seem to do. 

So here's what I really got out of my devotion time this morning: Sometimes I think we can become so concerned with the world, and with others in it, that we forget to place our eyes solely on God, and turning our gaze from all that is within the world (i.e. we shouldn't be putting our trust in other people more than we do in Christ, placing them first before God, and placing expectations on friends to fill that God shaped hole that is in all of us, instead of letting the only one who can mend us do so.)

That having been said, I know that God is my constant friend, my rock, and the one whom I always can place my trust in. I have to place God before all others...before my love, and before my friends. 

I must realize that I STILL have friends (God has indeed blessed me with a few close kindred spirit's, who I know will always be there for me through any storm), even though some have chosen to 'flee' for unknown reasons to me. I also know that I can regain trust in the one(s) whom I love; it is possible to move forward and in doing so I can regain all that we had before, and hopefully grow into and gain even more than there ever was before...with a little grace, patience, love, faith, and time, it can be done!

....and now I move on from feeling divided.

"Forget about what's happened; don't keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I'm about to do something brand-new. It's bursting out! Don't you see it? There it is! I'm making a road through the desert, rivers in the badlands."
-Isaiah 43:18-19 (The Message)

-Daughter of the King

P.S. - Thank you Jared for talking to me today, for lifting me up in your constant prayers, and for trusting that I will (and can) come around again in time. Thank you for the faith which you have had in me from the very start. I love you very much, and I don't know what I'd do without you...through thick 'n' thin! ;-D

Worth More Than A Million Canaries

"What's the price of a pet canary? Some loose change right? And God cares what happens to it even more than you do. He pays even greater attention to you, down to the last detail--even numbering the hairs on your head! So don't be intimidated by all this bully talk.You're worth more than a million canaries."
~Matthew 10:29-31 (The Message)

To get myself back on track with doing my daily devotions I have once again picked up Rebecca St. James' wonderfully written book "Pure: A 90-Day Devotional for the Mind, the Body & the Spirit" and I've been using it daily to read scripture. (Rebecca St. James is sooo much more than just a talented music artist, but she is truly a talented devotional writer as well!) It is really hard for me to just open up my Bible, and to start randomly reading scripture while really trying to focus and get something out of the biblical text without guidelines and how-to's. I need a laid out map for devotions basically. (I am so ADD...not diagnosed, but I have a hard time paying attention without getting heavily much so that I cannot focus on what is within the text if I have to solely count on myself to dive into the scriptures and reap something of worth and note from it at all.) For myself, I need a set schedule, a devotional book, or even a sermon to study and read throughout the week (or listen to one on my i-Pod) so that I stick to doing daily devotions.  

Although I have read through "Pure" before I figured why not?  I have also changed a lot as a young woman since the last time I have read my way through the book, so I thought that since I've changed personally, the meaning, and what I learn from the book will be very different this go around. That's the theory...well see!

Today's scripture/devotion was about how we, as children of the King, are regarded and valued so highly by HIM...even over a million canaries (we are valued more than birds!) Also the scripture directs us in our walk of faith not to worry over things, from the big scary situations in life (like having our faith possibly tested, and or swayed in an Anthropology class...just one example), to the small things in life (like "When am I gonna find the time to get around to going to the Post Office today, because I want to get this mailed to someone whom I love dearly...but can I find the time to do this for him? *Yes*) In the scripture we see that we are WORTHY, and that we are called not to WORRY because God will be our worth within us and HE will take care of everything in our lives so there is no need to worry that HE alone will not feed into our spiritual lives and protect us from the Enemy!

Sometimes how I perceive myself is this: that I am less than, unattractive, unworthy of HIS blessing me, I am selfish, and I can act spoiled etc... I only wish that some days when I feel really down and just plain less than everyone else in all areas of my life that I would realize that I AM ONE OF HIS FLOCK. Like the scripture says...I am worth more than the 'canaries'/birds of the air. They do no worry, so why should I because they know they will be tended to and that they will be fed daily even if they cannot see how it will possibly come to fruition. 

I am a beautiful bird. YOU are a beautiful bird too! I can take flight...but I have got to learn to glimpse my 'God-worth' within myself instead of just only ever seeing my own seemingly-tried-and-failed-many-times-to-have-found-it-within-me 'self-worth'. Without HIM I am nothing, and I can accomplish nothing. With HIM I can 'fly' without a worry or a care as to whether or not I am worthy of HIM and HIS great love, because I know HE's there!

Seeking for my God-worth to overcome my self-worth,
-Daughter of the King

The Tuned. The Purpose. The Meteoric.

"God's love is meteoric, His loyalty astronomic. Yet in His largeness nothing gets lost; not a man, not a mouse, slips through the cracks." 
-Psalm 36:5-6 (The Message)

I am so thankful that my King's love for me is greater than any man or woman's love for love of another even begins to compare to His 'meteoric love' but put rather simply it dims in comparison to HIS 'largeness' in every aspect! I know at the beginning and end of every day, and every other moment in between, that my God's love for me and for you is astronomic, intense, grace-filled, massive, endless, unfathomable and self sacrificing. Wouldn't it be something genuinely spectacular if all of our friends, and the people we loved and cared for, whether our love for them be shallow or deep, would love everyone else how our King dearly and greatly loves us? 

Let's ask ourselves a question here: Are we a people who are truly full of grace and love; a kind of person that is sworn to fealty of a life of loyalty to those he/she gives his word to and their heart we seek to stand steadfast by our oaths of friendship, love and honor so as to lift others up and to glorify HIM simultaneously? 

God says that NONE, NOBODY, NOTHING will slip through the cracks because He encompasses us in His vast largeness...even down to a tiny mouse! We can be a fine-tuned people and generation...the tuned ones who are focused on HIM and bring glory to HIM through our every thought, our every breath, and our every daily move. I know that some days I fail, oh how miserably I fail, at trying to keep my eyes and thoughts only stayed upon HIM. My plan to seek HIM on all things daily doesn't always turn out like I had planned for it to. You know what though....even when I don't 'tune' myself into HIM daily like I should I know that eventually I will be seeking out that 'tuning job' after a while, because let's face it, who wants to 'play a piano that is untuned?' After a while playing that untuned instrument (piano = me & you), of self, which sounds okay, but just not quite right. You know it is time to tune yourself back do so one must find a person to tune them, their 'heart' strings...keys and all (God is the ultimate fine tuner tailor lemme tell ya!) It doesn't sound like music to the worlds ears, now does it, if we are off key as Christians? 

I want to be one of those tuned into God Christians, who is loyal to the end, so full of grace and love that it flows into and out of every facet of life and myself. I so desperately want to always run to Him, to be fine tuned by HIM, so that I may know the purposing that He has planned for me!

His love for you and I is meteoric! We are the tuned, the called, we are the purpose driven children of God.

My 21st Birthday

The flowers Jared got me for my 21st birthday....they're beautiful...and purple!
The coral colored roses are from my Grandma...she picked them on my birthday from her rose garden.
My AWESOME b-day cake that my sissy made for me!
Opening gifts from Jared's family (Pastor Robin, Tricia and Seth...thanks!)
Edward Cullen musical b-day card...can't go wrong there! lol
~Pink Mum Ring~

~Jared & The Birthday Girl~
Blowing out my candle.....making a wish...
Love love love my pretty cake!
Yeah, I know I am a total goober! Rofl!
~Mary & Me~

I will try to add some more photos to this blog entry later. I had some camera issues on my birthday, and so I will have to retake some photos of me and my gifts that I got, since the others didn't quite turn out like I'd have liked them to.
-Daughter of the King

4 Birthdays & 5 Mother's To Celebrate

We drove quite a few hours yesterday to take a day trip to celebrate 4 birthdays and 5 mothers on Mother's Day at my Papaw and Mamaw's house. The birthdays: Emily (my cousin-in-love), Patrick (my cousin), Don (my uncle) and my birthday as well. The Mother's: Franziska (my momma), Mamaw, Aunt Robin, Aunt B, and Emily. We all had such a wonderful time celebrating the birthdays as well as the mother's all on the same day. Playing, laughing, eating, and celebrating outside in the gorgeous weather yesterday with all of my loved ones was such a blessing of a time. I wouldn't trade my wonderful loving awesome family for the world!
Mark (my daddy)
Trey (my cousin)
Trey (in the background/cousin) & Jackson (my 2nd cousin)
Patrick (my cousin/b-day boy) grilling out...
Me & Kayla (my cousin)
Emily (Cousin-in-love) & 'Buffy' (my 2nd cousin)

Cooking out...
Me opening b-day gifts...

Victorian looking suitcases...
Elizabeth (2nd cousin) & Sarah (Me)
Papaw, Sarah (b-day girl) & Mamaw
Me 'n' my cousin Packy! Our b-days are 9 days apart...
I had received a Cracker Barrel Gift Card as one of my gifts, and so on the way home we stopped there last night and I ran in and bought this teapot for $9.00! ...and the spoon rest too of course! :-)

These old Grace Livingston Hill books were my Great Grandmother Ruby's and she loved them dearly. Now that she has passed away they were given to me, and now they will grace my bookshelves with memories, beauty and love of old.

...and so my 21st birthday is officially tomorrow...and I cannot wait!
-Daughter of the King

Momma's Day

First of all, I love my Momma (Franziska) with all of my heart! She has helped me to become the young woman that you all see (read) before you.  We have laughed. We have cried. We have fought. We have shared joy. We have each other's love. My momma has my heart and I have hers.

Thank you Momma for always pushing me into the direction you knew I needed to be headed in in life...even if I pushed against you the whole way through. I wouldn't be the young woman that I am right now, if it weren't for you molding me and pressing into me in the way that you have done throughout my whole life. I love you because...

You've given me everything, sacrificed everything, and given me everything that your loving heart has to offer...and for that I owe you everything! 

You are my fellow goober, and the source of my inherited humoresque ways in life. We can always laugh...just me and you and it doesn't matter if anyone else in the world gets it or not and I love it! *So she says bazinga and stretches her arm out to waggle fingers with ya!*

You've sacrificed spending time with daddy, getting to see him every night, and an outside career just so that you could stay home and school and take care of us girls and that HAS shaped me into who I am...thank you for all that you do!

I cannot say thank you enough...and I would write more, but Momma, you just walked in my room and asked me to go finish watching 'Little Dorrit' with you...and how can I say no to spending time with THE BEST MOMMA IN THE WORLD! I love you dearest!
With all my love,


Momma, Mary and I went out today and went shopping (with our Momma) to get Momma something for Mother's Day. Mary and I both bought Momma a pair of earrings...and Mo and I got a pair for ourselves too of course! I love my new 'Purple Albalone Shell' earrings...they are simply beautiful...not to mention the shells that they are made of are found  in the Pacific Ocean which is just way cooleo! (Yes, the glasses are new too.)

After our girls time out today I got home and found that I had received a lovely birthday card from Lynette. Thank you Lyn-Love, you must've known that I love i-tunes cards as much as I love little owls on aqua b-day cards!!! Thanks for the sweet b-day ya bunches!

-Daughter of the King