an ever changing december

traditions must change, and some fade away. and yet this is christmas, once again. it's the red and evergreen and joy and king and gifts given season. or so i've always been told. this christmas looks strikingly different than it has in years past though, as the family get together's are farther and fewer in between. my loved ones are separated by hours upon hours of driving time, whereas they once were within arms reach. and now there are three less grandparents this year, instead of the two that there were in the years before twenty-twelve. my work days fall on holidays, and sadly, traditions get pushed to the wayside; rescheduled. in all of this change christmas becomes somehow a bittersweet taste upon my tongue; a hard to swallow change; a change that whispers "you're growing up, love."

this adult life strikes fast and hard, and for the first time christmas doesn't feel so magical as it once had before, when i was the carefree child swimming in traditions. christmas this year has me struggling to breathe. the chaos i so welcomed (which was not a bad thing) has gladly enveloped me so. and cheer, yes cheer, it is but a fought for commodity that doesn't show its face willingly. but this is all okay...somehow or another.

if i must cry about my lost loved ones who won't fill the empty chairs at our table, or greet me with warm hugs, or beg me to play christmas carols for them on the piano this year, then i will cry. i will miss my beloved and his family, who've been missing from christmas for the last two years...this year and the last. yes, i can release these mighty tears that dwell within. these tears have had me realize that christmas, life, is but an ever changing occurrence, and i am growing up after all. everything is not bittersweet with change, though it feels like it in the moment when it crashes over you in a wave of sadness. through these storms of life we learn to trust in Him. and this is what i shall do this christmas. i will cling to Christ and accept the things i cannot change. and i will continue to press on; to move.

joy and peace and love will be found, not in the many changing seasons or passing faces of this world, but in the gift of our King, Jesus Christ. so i will choose to welcome change this christmas, in the midst of everything. i will become a small timid candle, wreathed in a room full of darkness. december has changed, and because it has i will surely change too.

whether your christmas is full to the brim with the taste of bittersweetness or unspeakable joy this holiday season, know this: life will change, seasons will shape us and God will continue to write our life-story.

love & peace to you this christmas season,
restless bird

images one // two


  1. Beautiful! Hope you had a great Christmas!

    1. I did have quite a beautiful Christmas after all. And I hope you did too. =)

  2. Hope you had a beautiful Christmas!

  3. This is beautiful Sarah! Christmas really is a different thing than it was years ago, and as I get older it seems to just become more work, and more worry. I did have a pretty nice Christmas though, and I'm glad you did too! :)