It truly is a silent, still kinda night. I am sitting here criss-cross-applesauce on my bedroom floor, that consequently, because of my busyness as of late, has not been vacuumed for far too long (not that you needed to know that factoid or anything.) My laundry is still in the dryer from three days ago (shhh don't tell anybody I have a thing for wrinkled clothing!) and there are all sorts of devo and fiction books strewn all over my room. But somehow, in the mess of it all, I still have clean clothes to wear, have managed to find the time to read a chapter here and there before I roll into bed and pass out every night after work and have a smile on my face.
It really does feel like I've silently abandoned my blog, and you, my dear blog readers, over the last couple of weeks. And while I have disappeared for a while, it has definitely not been because I have wanted to pull a Houdini on all of you. I pinky swear on that one. You see, in case you are new to the nest or have just forgotten, I work retail at a Christian bookstore...and it's Christmastime. Can you possibly see where I'm going with this? It's the super-busy season for us retailers, and I've been lucky to even get in a single deep breath or even a shower everyday as of late because of all this said busyness. Yeah, I'm being totally serious here, and I am beyond exhausted. So, that my friends is why I have been M.I.A. up until this very moment. The only thing I can hear in this moment is the refreshing sound of my deep (finally) restful breaths and the clanking of my tired fingers upon Quorra's (my laptop) keyboard, which is splashed against the backdrop of utterly still, welcomed silence. I absolutely love these still moments, and winter songs like this one that tug at my heartstrings and paint my soul with a dash of joy and warmth.
I'm not really sure what to say, still; as I mentioned before in my last blog post. I mean, I know that God is trying to speak to me right now (somehow) throughout all of this craziness that goes by the name of December. But I wonder what all of this holiday-hoopla-craziness and stress within my work, home and love life is supposed to teach me? I find it completely amusing that my One Word for twenty-twelve was PEACE and now that is the very aspect I am struggling with finding and having the most this December. Sigh. I guess this month is supposed to be the last big hurrah in teaching me a thing or two about how to possess peace before I choose a new One Word to focus on for twenty-thirteen, huh?
For the time being I guess I'll just have to keep my eyes and ears and heart attuned to God in this Winter Wondering-land. That sounded kinda juvenile and silly, but it's true. I do feel like I'm caught in a wondering-land instead of a delightful winter wonderland. Despite the chaos of everything that is going on in my life at the moment, I want to be the restless one who seeks after this elusive creature, this Christmas joy, with a tireless hope that awaits the days to come, because "the future is white."
Until the silence strikes me again...
Pea Ess: I'd love to hear about your December so far! Have you had a joy-filled go of December, or are you restless like me? Let's swap prayers and stories, okay?