embrace. embracing. embracer.
^ mmhmm. that is what this year has consisted of, a trinity of steps to becoming the woman i am right now. a pivotal cycle of much embracing, anxiousness, soul-searching, communication, deep breathing, darker days, inexplicable joy, triumphant tears, deepened love, and so much change, etc. i honestly didn't know that when i chose my "one word" for the year that it would encompass and entail so very much. and i surely didn't know how ready i would need to be to "embrace" so much change this year, but my God obviously did.
yes, He scrawled that tiny two-syllable word onto my heart rather quickly back in the cold days of january, and He kept on whispering to my unsure and stubborn ears over and over again: embrace. really? i wasn't completely certain that embrace was the right word for me to meditate on for a full year. and then i relented, gave in, under-my-breath-declared "okay, God" and ever since that day i've found myself changed. changed in that i'm learning to accept the things i cannot change. and to find peace, my Jesus, in the midst of both chaos filled and not-so-chaos filled days.
yes, He scrawled that tiny two-syllable word onto my heart rather quickly back in the cold days of january, and He kept on whispering to my unsure and stubborn ears over and over again: embrace. really? i wasn't completely certain that embrace was the right word for me to meditate on for a full year. and then i relented, gave in, under-my-breath-declared "okay, God" and ever since that day i've found myself changed. changed in that i'm learning to accept the things i cannot change. and to find peace, my Jesus, in the midst of both chaos filled and not-so-chaos filled days.
somewhere along the way i've become a life embracer. and it's brought me long sought after peace.*
now, don't misunderstand these words up above and let me paint a picture of personal perfection for you. it's quite the contrary, actually, as i may or may not have it all figured out just yet (okay, i so don't have much figured out - i confess) as i find myself moving farther into the realms of "adulthood." there is much change to come for me this year, and some days i question God on whether or not i am really ready for it all. . . living a life outside of my family's home . . . becoming Jared's bride in November. . . moving across the state (again) for the second time in my life, but I will embrace it all as it comes. and for the first time in my life i'm not so frightened of the changes to come anymore. i'm ready to embrace each season He gives as it comes.
i am still a work in progress - an embracer in progress.
now, don't misunderstand these words up above and let me paint a picture of personal perfection for you. it's quite the contrary, actually, as i may or may not have it all figured out just yet (okay, i so don't have much figured out - i confess) as i find myself moving farther into the realms of "adulthood." there is much change to come for me this year, and some days i question God on whether or not i am really ready for it all. . . living a life outside of my family's home . . . becoming Jared's bride in November. . . moving across the state (again) for the second time in my life, but I will embrace it all as it comes. and for the first time in my life i'm not so frightened of the changes to come anymore. i'm ready to embrace each season He gives as it comes.
i am still a work in progress - an embracer in progress.
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*ahem, you'll notice that i, an INFJ with a somewhat contradictory personality at times, likes to work things out backwards. apparently last year's "one word" peace couldn't properly be ascertained until i learned how to fully live out this year's "one word" embrace. i find it oh so funny how you work things out through different seasons in my life, Lord. and i cannot help but love you for it, Jesus! <3
<3 Love seeing the Lord work in your beautiful soul, my dear dear friend! <3
ReplyDeleteYes, yes, yes. So thankful I get to be your heart-sister and SEE how He's working in you--and He is!
ReplyDeleteAnd, on second thought, I can totally see the sweetness of how Jesus used this year's word to play into last year's. Because He's definitely renewing my relationship with Him ("prayer"). :)
I always love your post! I'm definitely in the same boat!!
ReplyDeleteEmbrace...though a beautiful word, it has the potential of pain. After one's heart has been severely broken it is hard for it to turn again and choose to embrace despite the pain (especially if one is an INFP like me...but yeah...). I appreciated you sharing your heart and how the Lord is teaching you to embrace this year. It encourages me to do the same. I want to let go, face my fear of getting hurt, and embrace life and the people God has put in my life. :-)
ReplyDeleteYes, embracing does mean that you have to take *everything* that is given to you - and that is a scary process at times to walk through. I know from personal experience that there is pain in the embracing, and really, pain is just another mysterious part of life - an unknown that is not wanted, but it is a given nonetheless. First off . . . WELCOME to ORB! Secondly, I'm sorry to hear that your heart was severely broken, Melinda. Truly, I am. Remember this though: GOD IS A HEALER. That usually manages to get me through somehow. You know, sometimes that scar tissue makes us stronger - makes the embracing worth it somehow; mysteriously. Letting go doesn't have to be difficult, unless you let it become that way, and boy oh boy do I speak from experience on this one! Hoping and praying for you that God will mend the broken and hurt places in your soul, make you stronger than ever before, and teach you how to embrace the life He's given you, right where you are in this very moment. Shalom be with you, friend. <3
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