young man, once spoke words of wisdom. his words stung my heart and expanded my narrowed mind, all at once. he said that life is all about our contentment with it, and not our complacency. i understood what he meant immediately. i lived life as one who was not content, at the time, and also as one who thought that i wasn't complacent, that is until recently when i became even more restless than ever before. i realized that i had dreamed of becoming more than.
more than just a wordsmith: a writer
more than just a girl: a strong woman
more than just a dreamer: a doer
with these thoughts, scales loosened themselves from my eyes and i heard those words of his ringing truer than true in my heart.
i had held myself in places of the complacent domain, when my soul longed to soar. i forgot to be content with where i was at currently, without comparing myself to those other brothers and sisters around me. and instead of being a more than content woman, i found myself distracted by my own version of the comfortably secure life.
this life we live is about daring. it's about being content with what we have. dreaming. loving. leading. hoping. more. there's this immense relaxation that allows us to begin dreaming, that abounds when we calm our spirits, sit before HIM and say here i am. here's my dreams and my life and the things i long to be more than. and then we are free to be content, because those thoughts, both good and evil, do not harbor residence over our entire soul.
placing dreams into shining jars, that sit on windowsills, they are clouded by shadow at first, or so it seems. but those jars sit there content, filled to the brim with dreams of the coming days, and yet they are satisfied with their station on the sill. they await the sunny days that lie ahead. the ones that will change those dreams within that are scrawled on inky covered notebook paper. those dreams shine in the sun and remember fondly those accepted contented times. and now they are ready to be borne...ready to be become borne anew.
dreams, like our faith should never be complacent. to live more, to dream more, to be more. those should be the things of which we let our minds and hearts entertain when we are in a season of quiet. a season that learns to be content with what we have, and also learns to dream more, but storehouses those dreams in splendid glass jars for a future of daring.
...never complacent, always daring to be content. there in the now, glass jar dreams and HIS immense love, await me, alongside contentment to be found and sought after. so do not be afraid, to breathe dreams in and out and to love where you are at, dear one. be content to dream and to find that place of eucharisteo with Him and with me.
this year i'm turning my wild dreams loose and deciding to live them out to the fullest. i'll be holding other dreams in jars for another season that aren't yet ready to shine. and i will strive to become a restless more-than woman who is striving and running after her place of peace.
i'm still learning what all of this means, but i will proceed into this new year having learned last year that contentment is a beautiful surrender of the now-dreams and it's also the laying down of the someday-jar-dreams, and complacency is an uglified laziness that squelches new dreams from ever forming or becoming this beautiful person filled with daring that is now me.