Re-painting Distracted Walls

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Oh, stress. Why are you so bothersome?

It's just been a little hectic in the life of this dotk lately! And while I know that life has it's highs and lows, sometimes I just want the forecast to be calm, cool and collected, you know? Stress seems like it wants to take a giant bite out of me and all I want is for everything to just be alright. So, what do I do to keep myself from getting all emotional or taking charge of my own stressful life? I distract myself. With t.v and books and food and etc.I let the walls of my heart become hastily covered in the paint splatted colors of doubt, insecurity, longing, stress, fear and anger.

Why do I distract myself? I choose to block out things so I don't have to deal with the Lord on the issue of this heart of mine. I distract myself so I won't have to think about how crazy this world in which we live in really is. I distract myself from lies and truths, and also from God. I self destruct by letting a dream world wreak havoc in my mind instead of letting my mind dwell on Him. being creative and dreaming about a dream-world is okay, as long as it doesn't become the inception that locks down your soul.  

Why do I choose to hide? When I could be opening my palms wide, letting go and facing the One who makes me WHOLE? Why do I settle for being distracted instead of being focused. Honestly, sometimes I'd just rather not deal than deal. It's a sad thing to say, but so very true. 

Why do I let my heart become faint? I let my weary heart faint because I am human. I faint because I choose to focus on everything else BUT my relationship with Him. Don't get me wrong. I have been reading my Bible more, but all the while I've been burying my head in the sand from facing my life as an adult. Sometimes I'd rather not think about bills, where to get gas money at, the reason I have to wait to get married to the man I love. I know that God is my providence. So why do I become faint...letting myself shrink back from my life as a child frightened by the higher ocean waves? 

I need to re-paint the walls of my heart and soul. I think I could use a good white-washing. A cleansing. A renewing of mind. I've been perfectly happy with a cerulean colored heart as of late, when my heart yearns to be a bright crisp ivory. 

This is my season of re-painting distracted walls. This is my season to fight for my dreams, for what I so desperately long for. This is my season to grow stronger and steadfast. This is my season of tempering. This is my season of becoming wiser than ever before. This is the season that waves goodbye to distracting myself and say's hello to Jesus. This is my season of claiming my rite of adulthood. This is the season...

My heart becomes white-washed by His great love for me. I've realized that I do not have to distract myself anymore. Deciding to fight for my dreams and my heart's desires, while not letting my heart faint in the process will not be easy. This I know. But what I also know and hold dear onto is that the Lord has taken His precious time this week trying to regain my focus. He had my whole focus when I was at She Speaks. It was easy then to be so focused on Him while I was living out the road He had so obviously planned and set before me. While He had placed me there with so many beautiful and wise women to learn from, to befriend and to grow right alongside them. Now I am Home and life isn't quite as simple. Life is chaotic. I am struggling to be an adult who wants to make a bright future for herself. 

Life is still full of simplicity. If you or I are willing to grasp after it. Life doesn't have to just be crazy. Life can be crazy beautiful, if we'll but let it be so. What is simple is that He is still gently whispering to my soul. Everyday. Single. Day. Whether I want to hear it or not! Right now I know that He wants me to fight for my dreams. I must do so faithfully. It will be hard, but the Lord my God will be with me wherever I go (Joshua 1:9).   

Sometimes those distracted walls that hold us are the very ones that need to be re-painted. Only then when we've re-painted those troubled walls will we be set free. This is my epiphany. One that was realized and gained yesterday morning as I walked into the kitchen and saw my momma with a bucket of paint in her hands. She said "I don't like the color of this dining room anymore. It needs to be repainted. Needs to be lighter." And so she started re-painting the dining room. And it did make things much lighter. Not only the walls in our dining room, but in mine and my momma's souls. All of the dark distractions washed away with The Light. 

I was no longer lost in the darkness of distraction, because I came to the realization that Jesus was calling me. He started speaking yesterday and I starting breaking down and most importantly listening. 

I'm letting God paint the walls of my heart, my life and my dearly held dreams. I may still have many lessons to learn. Many dreams to chase after...and boy are my dreams fast runners! ;) Adult life may suck be awesome sometimes, but I know that I don't have to distract myself anymore to learn how to cope alone. I know that God will teach me the art of learning how to deal in life. He just wants a little effort in the fighting department right now, and always. Okay, God. I can do this!

What "walls" are distracting you from your relationship with Christ? What are you distracting yourself with, instead of facing your reality? What could you "re-paint" in your life to make yourself whole again?

Bible Verses for Re-painting the Soul:

"God can do anything, you know--far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, His spirit deeply and gently within us." Ephesians 3:20 {The Message} 

"Why are you down in the dumps, dear soul? Why are you crying the blues? I fix my eyes on God and soon I'll be praising again. He puts a smile on my face. He's my God." Psalm 42:5 {The Message}

"But God, Who comforts and encourages and refreshes and cheers the depressed and the sinking, comforted and encouraged and refreshed and cheered me." 2 Corinthians 7:6


  1. Beautiful, Sarah. Many thoughts and conclusions you and I share in common. Loved the analogies/metaphors, etc! And I pray God will help you stay focused on Him and all He has for you rather than let yourself be sidetracked! I understand where you're coming from! :)

  2. I love this, Sarah! So true. The questions you pose at the end are ones I need to be asking myself as well. And this is more trivial, but the phrase repainting distracted walls sounds so poetic. I love it!

  3. I love the analogy of repainting walls. God has spent the last year of my life since 2010 She Speaks slowly painting the walls of my heart, mind, and soul. At first I was disappointed that the dreams I had for life after She Speaks was not falling into place as I planned. However, I then realized that He needed to change some things in me before I could share Him with others. I am now prepared to show off my new coat of paint.

  4. {Dove of Snow} I do love my analogies! ;)

    {Annie} Thanks, girl! I think I am going to need to ask myself those questions for a loooong while. Sigh. Poetry. Smile. =)

    {Amy} That is so awesome that He has been working within you! Isn't it so awesome that He continually pours into us even when we don't always want Him to or don't think we need Him to? You've made an excellent point here. We cannot live out our dreams until it is God showing us the way to dream. God has to work within us and change us so that we can be Him to others. Keep on showing off that new coat of paint of yours, okay? ;)


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